


Warrior

by Deandeanmoose



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-09-18 06:56:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 39,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9373139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deandeanmoose/pseuds/Deandeanmoose
Summary: Grayson Hailey's life is turned upside down after being attacked on her way home from work one day. Her boyfriend is the ada on the case and bestfriend a detective from the Manhattan svu squad that is working her case. The farther into the case they go, the more her tragic history is revealed. Can she make it through this tragic twist and come out stronger then before?





	1. first meeting/Background

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting anything I wrote, please feel free to leave your feedback. I also have translations at the bottom (I suck at all languages so I apologize if anything is wrong in spelling or grammar. I only used google translate for the spanish.)

"Excuse me, ¿Vienes aqui a menudo?"  
She jumped from her spot on the bench outside the courtroom, to deep in thought to notice the stranger approach.  
"no podía. Nunca te he visto antes." He smirked and she watched his deep hazel eyes almost studying her.  
"Im sorry, I don't..."  
"Speak Spanish. I can tell." He sits beside her, "my apologies, it just slips out sometimes. I'm Rafael."  
He stretched his arm out to shake her hand, "Grayson."  
"what is a hermosa girl like you doing here?"  
"Being the not so helpful support for a friend." She frowned.  
"Not so helpful?" He questioned.  
"Long story, and one better for a place of less judgment." She almost chuckled at his now smile.  
"Then maybe, you would be open for a drink?"  
"I... I could defentlly use a drink."  
There was a lot of chatter and then she noticed he turned his head to see a man motioning for him to come. He sighed and turned back quickly.  
"I know a lovely place just a couple blocks away. Say around 8?"  
You smiled, "see you then Rafael."  
"Como ya os, Hermoso."  
He quickly rushed off before she could even attempt to ask what he had said.

That was how Grayson Hailey met Rafael Barba, her now boyfriend of on and off 2 years. She sat outside a court room where her friend testified and was subsequently murdered for. Barba helped her grieve, what little she did grieve. She left for london after 3 wonderful months with rafi and everytime the two of them met up since then, it was like they never left. Until 2 weeks ago, when she leased a loft and came back to the best place for her... back to rafael. 

Grayson has a job writing songs under a nickname she was given by a more brotherly-then-friend-like friend, Dominick "sonny" carisi. Those two met when he first got on the job and he saved her from a misunderstanding that could've went felony. He helped her get her life together and stayed in contact. It was sonny's advice that led her to support her friend that day she met rafael, and she prays he never finds out or else she'll never hear the end of how he is a 'gift from god'. The job she loved lead her to london and back, and was now becoming more demanding. She had started to gain more attention under her nickname and the company is paying out more for each song and each contract they get from said songs. Which is why she returned, she needs inspiration, a muse, someone to calm her nerves, and most importantly someone to pull her out of her work-state of mind all the time.


	2. The worse day

It was 10:30pm and she was curled up in a ball on her tiny loveseat. Her only covering was rafi's old harvard tshirt and a pair of lacey red panties. The orginal plans for the evening was to surprise rafi when he came over after work for your dinner date but he was over 3 hours late. 

Rafael rushed up the stairs, mentally noting to have you call about the stupid broken elevator so he doesn't have to run up 10 flights of stairs daily. He pulled his key and quickly opened the door and shut it calling her name.  
"Grayson. Cariño..."  
He stopped dead in his tracks seeing her sleeping peacefully in his shirt. He approached slowly, pulling the throw blanket he gave her off the back of the couch over her before stripping down some. His jacket went over the kitchen counter, along with his tie and vest, he uncuffed his sleeves and rolled them up, lastly kicking off his shoes before crawling over her and pulling her against him. He sighed, completely happy to be where he is, his breath tickling the back of her neck as he kissed the back of her head. 

"Waf-fee..."  
"Go back to sleep mi amor."  
"But your finally here..." she rolled to face him, "I was waiting for you."  
"Cariño, your tired. Lets just sleep tonight." He pulled her into a kiss.  
"Ok waf-fee" she slur his pet name to make him smile, "nighty night."  
"Buenas noches y dulces sueños ángel"  
She tucked her head into his chest and curled into him tighter as he wrapped his arms around her. They both passed out shortly after.

**************************************************next morning**************************************************************  
Grayson stretched softly as she untangled from rafaels arms, squeezing her phone to check the time. 7am. Rafael would be waking in a short time to leave for the svu squad, the current case leaving them all on short sleep. Rafael wouldn't talk about it but sonny spilled some of the details. A brutal gang rape initiation that ended in one dead teen and a young college student with ptsd. Strong case but rafael seemed worried, deeply concerned by the way the court case was going. Thats why she made him spend the night, to help him relieve stress. She walked to the kitchen and moved his clothes so she can pull out the food. Making the pancake mix up, she started cooking as she faintly heard him stretching to his alarm.

"She's watching the taxi driver, he pulls away. She's been, locked up inside her apartment a hundred days. She's says 'yeah, he's still coming, he's just a little bit late, he got stuck at the laundromat washing his cape.' " she sang softly as rafael started moving, " She's just watching the clouds roll by and they spell her name, like Lois Lane. And she smiles, oh the way she smiles."  
Before she could flip the first pancake, rafael's arms were around her waist as he pushed flat against her back, " She's talking to angels, counting the stars. Making a wish on a passing car. She's dancing with strangers, falling apart."  
"Esperando a Superman a recogerla. En sus brazos, sí, sí en sus brazos. Esperando a Superman."he finished the chorus for her, making her push against him.

"If I didn't know better, I would think you liked my singing."  
"Oh rafi, why wouldn't I love it?"  
He kissed her neck, "I sound like a dying cat."  
She laughed as he got fake offended, "oh so you think its funny I sound like a dying cat."  
He started tickling her as she poorly tried to push him away, "rafi stop! I give, I give!"  
"I should sue for character assassination." He raised a brow as she turned in his arms.  
"To be fair, I tried to compliment you but you wouldn't take it." She kissed him quickly, "and I do love when you sing, especially in spanish love."  
He frowned when he caught the time on the stove, " Va a ser la muerte de amarme..... Se burlan."  
"Se barland?" She butchered the pronunciation on purpose.  
"You tease." He swatted her ass.

Rafael slowly let go, walking to the small closet, where he keeps a couple suits. He pulls the cream colored suit and preceded to change in her view.  
"Now who's the tease." She pointed at his naked body.  
"Well if you had a better place, maybe one with more then one room and a bathroom, I wouldn't have to change in plain view."  
"Well if you'd invite me to your place for a night here or there, you wouldn't have to." She tossed the pancake up to flip it.  
He stops, now with his pants on and shirt, pulling his suspenders up "Lo siento cariño, I...I.... let's talk about this later mi amor. I have a meeting at 8 and court all day."  
His good mood disappeared, he went to his normal demeanor. She went to hand him a coffee mug but he brushed it off. Sitting it down, he kissed her forehead.  
"have a good day." She called as he left.

*********************************************************rafael****************************************************************  
Rafael waited impatiently in line for coffee, his mind racing.  
(I shouldn't have acted like that. She was just playing with me, a simple nudge back. Even if she meant it, really wanted to move in with me, the threats are causing me to push you further away. Staying at your loft, which i barely can stand, was safer then my place and you never being even close to me around work kept you safe. I need to calm down, she doesn't know about the threats.)  
He paid for his coffee and rushed down the block to the precinct, the squad waiting for him.

"What is so important that you make me rush over here so early before court?" He almost glared at the squad.  
"Bad morning barba?" Benson raised an eye and barba looked less amused.  
"We have another victim that came forward." Rollins interrupted, "Fits the pattern of the initiation. Followed, grabbed from the side by three men, and it was taped."  
"Do we have the suspects?" Barba looked confused, "or is this a separate case and I really don't need to be here."  
"It's the three guys on trial." Fin adds as nick finishes, "This time a bystander saved her before they got to far."  
"She came forward after the bystander talked her into it. They're dating now." Carsi watches barba closely, thinking about texting gray to see whats up.  
"When did this happen?" Barba looked back to benson.  
"The day before," She adds, "they failed to rape her. So they had to try again."  
"Technically its a separate case, But if she is willing to testify I might be able to put her on the stand and prove a pattern." Barba looked down, "but if she wants to charge...this case falls apart."  
"How?" Rollins looked confused.  
"They threw out the video from their phones, The witness broke during cross, and the defendants won't take the stand for me to pin. This case is falling through and this new one won't be any better with lesser charges. I offered a deal..."  
"They murdered a teenager and almost killed a college student." Nick looked insulted.  
Barba looked over at nick, "they turned it down. Buchanan seen right through it."  
"Lets just talk to the witness," benson motions for barba to follow her into her office to talk to the witness.

*****************************************************gray**********************************************************************  
Gray laid on the couch starring at the stack of pancakes she didn't eat. Wasn't hungry after this mornings fight.... or whatever it was. Finally got up and showered, grabbing herr keys from the table to go over to her friends bar when she seen it. Rafi's book and notes... she groan but check the top of the paper, the notes for his third witness who'll take the stand after lunch. She knew how he needs his notes.  
(I should take him his notes.... no you should leave them and hope he remembers and come back. Fuck you know he won't... just take it to him and make it quick.) She grabbed the book and head for the courthouse.

She walked into the courthouse frowning at the chaos and trying to find rafaels office. Ask the desk clerk, he sends her to the right place but its locked. (Shit he's in court.) She weighed the options and decide on checking to see if they were in session yet. Grabbing a elevator quickly and watching each button light up and ding as she went down. The door opened on her floor and she see him in the hall with a small group of people. He sees her stepping off the elevator and quickly rushes over.

"Hi rafae..." her greeting cut short as his arm pressed between her shoulders and guided her over to wall facing him.  
"What are you doing here?" His voice was as stern as his face, almost glaring yet he spoke in a whisper.  
"You left your notes on the coffee table, I was just bringing them to you." She flinched back.  
"You shouldn't be here. If I needed them I would've went to get them."  
"You didn't even know you forgot them, just forget it. Sorry for showing up." She turned to walk away but his hand loosely grabs her shoulder and she shrugged it off.  
"Gray..." his voice cut off by her walking away.

(What the hell gives him the right! All I did was give him his notes he forgot and he berates me! All he had to do was tell you not to come to his work place but he just does this instead. Makes me feel so small? So much like a little 3 year old being yelled at by an adult? Fuck him!) You get on the elevator and leave before he could attempt to fix it.

*********************************************************Rafael***********************************************************  
(Why? Why did I go about it like this?) Rafael stares at the book with his notes, the one she so kindly brought to him. (She shouldn't be here. Not with the threats and god the chance they might possibly go after you. I couldn't live with myself.)  
He stares at the book as the detectives come over calling his name. Not catching it untill benson tapped his shoulder.  
"Barba? You in there."  
"Yeah, sorry." He tucked the book under his arm as he tried to compose himself.  
"Who was that?" Rollins asked.  
"Just a assistant. I had Left some notes upstairs."  
"Ok. What are we looking at in there?" Fin asked.  
"A mess. This case is going to fall apart during cross."  
"We'll find a way to make it stick." Benson reassured barba before he nodded in went into the court room.

**************************************************************gray*************************************************************** grayson rushed out into the fresh air and ran to the bar. Walking up and knocking until he answered.  
"Geesh nightwing, in a hurry to drink away your sorrow?" Mick chuckled as she pushed by, "dude whats wrong?"  
"A fight...maybe I still don't know. I just want a scotch and some recording time." She sigh as he grabbed a glass and the scotch.  
"As you wish. Get up there and I will be up with some liquid courage." He gave a smile and she went up to the booth.

Running upstairs, she started working on music on the piano, shortly after mick came with the scotch glasses.  
"Sounds good. But lets talk now. What did the little cuban do now?"  
"Dude seriously."  
"Still trying to find a insult to fit but its hard." Mick pouted.  
She laughed, "rafi spent the night and in the morning I was making breakfast. We joked and then all of a sudden his demeanor changed."  
"Did he..." mick looked pissed and she cut him off, "no. He made a comment about moving to a better place/area and I told him if we stayed over at his place some I might just consider moving."  
"You spooked him." He laughed.  
"Thats just it. We already talked about it. About moving in together at his place or finding somewhere more family oriented."  
"Really? You gray."  
"Yes, we talked about it before I came back this time. He actually suggested it. Thats why I'm confused."  
Mick looked shocked, "was there yelling or anything?"  
"No. We were just messing around and then after that jab he just went... well he went lawyer. Calm as can be and barely said a word after."  
"Thats why you wanted a drink so bad? Seriously."  
"No. I was on may way out the door to come here to work when I seen his notes on the table. So I ran them to him and he was less then greatful. Quote 'you shouldn't be here. If I needed them I would've went to get them.'"  
"So he was still dickish."  
"Understatement."  
Her phone vibrated, she checked it then put it down without replying.  
"Its him...isn't it?"  
"Yeah, break at court. Just wants to talk."  
"Are you going to?"  
"Not right now. I'll let him sweat it."  
Phone vibrates again, three more texts.  
"You sure?"  
"Yes."  
"How many miss texts and calls?"  
"Since the court room till now.... 8 texts, 2 calls."  
Phone vibrates continually, a call coming in.  
"Gray answer please.... he is probably worried to death. You aren't even saying 'hey I need some space, just see you after work or anything.'"  
She shook her head then pushed the phone away, "nope. He worries about me till I see him on the ends, see him sick with worry and willing to let me in."  
Mick nodded, "How should I approach?"  
"Girlfriend style" she shrugged feeling worse.  
He coughed and swallowed loudly before raising his voice into a girl voice "Girl he is lucky to have you. Tell his punk ass to man up and treat you right before I take his bitch ass out to the alley and show him how we do it in Britain."  
She laughed and took a sip, "that is why I keep you around. You make me laugh and give me booze."

The next couple of hours was actual work and recording. Gray felt better and after a glass she switched to water. It wasn't late but she wanted sleep, maybe some food too. She hugged mick and promised to call when you got to the apartment. Out she went into the crowded streets, pushing through and fighting to make it down the block. It'll take a hour to get home walking but a taxi wouldn't fair much better.  
(If I were to take the alley just 5 blocks I could drop the time in half....it's stupid. You know not to take alleys, comon sense in new york.) She stood for a moment and then started down the alley. Tugging the jacket tighter and speeding up, two blocks down. She just started the 3rd block when she felt it, someone behind her. Keeping pace, she caught two figures behind in a broken window. Her breath is steady and looking ahead when she see a figure approaching. (You fucked up. Come on nightwing...you can do this.) She were almost trapped between the three when three more came from the side alley and grabbed her. Instinct kicked in, she fought and fought even after they pinned her down and getting stabbed... bleeding out. She blacked out.

When gray came to she heard screaming and a man went running in the building for a phone. She blink back the tired feeling and heavy eyelids, feeling cold and wet, seeing red everywhere, to roll onto her side and crawl one handedly to her phone... holding down one she prays, prays he'll answer.  
"Grayson, I'm sorry."  
He answered but her body wouldn't move, lips couldn't form words, she started to pass out yet again.  
"I'm so sorry cariño, I've been worried sick just hoping you'll listen to me. I was an ass but please forgive me. Please mi amor... say anything..."  
Her eyes closed and the man ran back out throwing a coat over her and pleading for her to stay awake. She whisper, "mi amor, rafael... te perdono... I love you." Blacking out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cariño - darling  
> Mi amor - my love  
> Buenas noches y dulces sueños ángel - goodnight and sweet dreams angel  
> Va a ser la muerte de amarme - you will be the death of me love  
> se burlan - you tease  
> Lo siento - I'm sorry  
> te perdono - I forgive you


	3. the worse day part 2

****************************Rafael*************  
Rafael has been worried sick. Court was done almost immediately after it started and he dove into research and went to svu to get more evidence. The whole time on his way over he was texting and calling to no prevail. He finally took a break while with the squad but promised himself that if she called or texted he would drop everything to apologize, even if it was infront of everyone in the squadroom. Still no reply from her, he was beyond worried. She was upset but he never seen her take this long to call for the apology he always gave.

He kept checking his phone, the detectives noticed.  
"Councilor are we keeping you?" Nick asks finally annoyed enough to speak up.  
Barba looked up, "no just looking. Why is it a problem?"  
"Yes, " nick started before rollins interrupted, "ok boys just stop."  
Nick rolled his eyes and went to the breakroom, carsi looked to barba, "can I have a word?"  
They both walked into bensons office while she took a statement in the box.

"What is it carsi?"  
"Whats going on with you and gray?"  
"What?" He tried to play it off, failing of course.  
"You keep checking your phone, been in a bad mood all day, and fin and nick said they saw you talking intensely to a intern at court. Just talk would ya?"  
Rafael sighed, "I messed up. We had a kinda fight this morning and then she brought me my book and notes I had forgot. I told her she shouldn't had and I was.... for lack of better word, a ass. I don't know why I'm even telling you this."  
"She's not replying? at all?"  
"No." He snorted in disgust, "8 texts and 3 calls, no replys."  
"You know gray, She's just making you sweat it."  
"For this long? I'm getting worried sick."  
"It's still light out, she's careful, probably stopped for a drink or turned the phone off for a nap. You know she'll get back to you."  
Rafael nodded and took a deep breath, "it pains me to say this but.... your right carsi."  
"Could you say that one more time, I need to record it." Carsi pulled his phone out.  
"A.D.A. or not I will attack you carsi." Barba glared and carsi chuckled.  
"Gray will call, she always does." Carsi left the office as barba composed himself quickly.

He started to exit when his phone rang, grayson.  
"Grayson, I'm sorry." He paused, "I'm so sorry cariño, I've been worried sick just hoping you'll listen to me. I was an ass but please forgive me. Please mi amor..."  
It was dead silent on the other end, "say anything..."  
Still silence, then the phone went dead.  
(I was an ass. I was wrong. I am sorry. I still can't get her to speak.) He was about to flip when benson walked in.

"You ok?" Liv looked at him cautiously.  
"Yeah fine."  
"Ok well we just got handed a possible case connected to the gang. A bartender called 911 after chasing off some guys attacking a girl. She's at mercy, me and fin will go get a disclosure. We'll keep you informed." Liv grabbed her jacket and left.  
Carsi, nick, and rollins head for the alley scene, barba heads out as his phone rings.  
"Rafael barba."  
"This is a next of kin call. You are the emergency contact on this phone and the owner is in the hospital in emergency surgery."  
"What happened?! What hospital?!"  
"Detectives are working on it right now. As for the hospital they took her to mercy general."  
Rafael hung up the phone and raced to the hospital.

**************************************************************at hospital****************************************  
Rafael raced into the er and straight to the receptionest giving her description and squad/police victim. The receptionest point over to liv and fin and told him to wait with them for the doctor to get out of surgery. He cursed under his breath before walking over.  
"Barba... what are you doing here?" Liv asked.  
Before barba could speak the doctor walked out, "detectives, she is out of surgery but not conscious yet. I can call you when she wakes up."  
"I would like to see her." Rafael pushed.  
"I can't do that unless..." rafael interrupted the doctor, "unless she is awake or next of kin which I am. Check her file in your system, I'm the only legal next of kin. Now I would like to see her."  
The detectives were shocked at the admission but he brushed it off as the doctor lead him back. Waiting for them to be out of ear shot, rafael inquiries, "what are the extent of the injuries?"  
"She is bruised all over but she has extensive injury. Three bruised one broken rib, long cut on her left arm, twisted ankle, sprained tendent connected to the ankle, three stab wounds to the waist right side, no organ damage, and several wounds to the face. Busted lip, black eye, cut across the cheek bone, and by her right temple. Then of course the rape."  
He bit his cheeks as the doc continued, "she is stable But we will also do a ultrasound for safe measure."  
"An ultrasound?"  
The doctor stops at the room door, "to insure the baby is safe. We were careful in surgery and did a minor check but made sure not to contaminate thr rape kit."  
He froze, just froze. The doctor opened the door and he slowly stepped in starring at her.

Right eye black leading to a cut cheek bone and temple, lip busted at the corner and long wise across the bottom. Your hair was a tangled mess on the top of your head, left arm wrapped to the elbow, right arm had two iVs, right foot in a sling, and the part that scared him the most... a wire set up for heart rate of hernand baby. Baby. we're pregnant. With a baby. His baby. He slowly approached and brushed the little bang she had from your face.  
"Lo siento cariño, this is my fault. I let this happen..."  
He sat down and took her hand, gently squeezing it, "I love you grayson, I can't lose you."  
He sat starring at you and eventually falling asleep, still holding her hand.

************************************************************you********************************************  
Gray stirred awake slowly, turning her head to see rafael sleeping. She giggled (he always looks peaceful when he sleeps), his hair messy, jacket tossed aside, top two buttons undone, vest hanging off the armrest, and his tie was losened and disheveled. His appearance compare to normal was horrible but he still looked perfect to her, bags under the eyes and all.  
She squeezed his hand and sung softly, ' Wise men say, Only fools rush in, But I can't help falling in love with you...' Rafael stirred and his eyes fluttered, 'Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? If I can't help falling in love with you?"  
"Por favor, mi ángel. Dont stop." He murmured as he wiped his eyes.  
' Like a river flows, Surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes... Some things are meant to be.' You pause to watch him sit up, 'Take my hand, Take my whole life, too...For I can't help falling in love with you.'  
"Hermosa... just like you."  
She blushed, then Rafael remembered where he was, "how are you doing? Any pain? Do you feel sick? Should I call the doc..."  
"Rafi I'm ok! Just breath." She squeezed his hand for reassurance, "but you might want to let the doc know I'm awake."  
He nodded and hit the call button, and then looked concerned.  
"What is it rafi?"  
"Nothing cariño."  
"For a lawyer, you suck at lying."  
"I'm not a lawyer."  
"A.D.A. whatever." She made a mocking gester.  
"I'm only a bad lier with you." He smiled and kissed her bruised forehead as she blushed.

The nurse walks in, "miss hailey, your awake. I'll get the doctor right away."  
She hit her call button and called the doctor in while she checked her vitals. The doctor came in a couple minutes later and started talking about her condition. She can hardly feel a thing, probably the morphines doing. Rafael squeezed her hand but she gave him the 'I got this' look. He waited till the doctor stepped out saying somethjng about a exam to be done.

Once the door shut she looked at him quizzically, "what's wrong?"  
"Nothing is wrong cariño."  
"Then why do we need to talk befo..." he interrupts, "grayson please. It's not bad."  
"Then what is it rafi?"  
"The doctor informed me of all your injuries before I..." she interrupted, "fell asleep in my chair?"  
He gives the lawyer glare then sighs and softens, "gray.... remember what we talked about before you left last time?"  
"Moving in together?"  
"Yes that too, but the other part..."  
"We talked about moving in together and kids.... wait what happened? Did they brake me? Can I not have kids?" She started to panic but he quickly soothed her, "no mi amor, not that. The opposite."  
"I... I'm pregnant? But that means..."  
"He said it looks about two weeks along. Cariño, we have a son or daughter."  
She were breathless, "is everything...."  
"He says it looks fine. But they will do a ultrasound.....again."  
She wanted to jump out of bed but she had to many wires holding her down, instead rafi leaned down and embraced her.

After the ultrasound, the doctor asked if she would be willling to take visitors. She frowned then he told her the detectives needed to take her statement, she agreed. Fin, rollins, and benson walked in.  
"Miss Hailey, we're detectives tutuola, rollins, and benson. Can we ask you some questions?" Benson starts.  
She look at how uncomfortable everyone looked and she shook her head, "yeah just one moment." She turned towards rafi, "would you mine getting me a snack? And maybe a drink? And I mean sweets when I say snack..." she gave the 'please just give me this one thing' face and Rafael shifted.  
"Of course gray, I will find you something." He squeezed her hand before leaving.  
"Why don't I go along?" Benson added and walked out with barba.

The door closes and she immediately jump in, "I know this is weird and he probably never told you about me but...lets just put that aside. We can do this like a normal interview that way."  
They both nodded and fin started, "can you tell us what happened?"  
"I was gang raped in a alley and beaten bloody. Sorry I know I need to give more details."  
"It's ok just start slow. How did it start?" Rollins sat down.  
"I was rushing to get home, made the mistake of trying to shorten the run by taking a alley. After the second block, I felt like I was being watched. As I passed a broken storefront, I caught a glimpse of two guys behind me. I kept going and seen one man approaching from ahead. I was trapped so I mentally prepared for a fight, before getting blindsided. Three guys came up a small side alley that was chained up and grabbed me. I fought and knocked two out before they got the serious hits in. They stabbed my side and sliced up my arm, I was feeling faint and passed out as they started."  
"Your doing good. Is there anything else you remember?" Rollins smiled.  
"Two were out cold, one took a stab to the upper calf, and two of them had broken noses and my nails caught there cheeks like they cut mine. Besides that... it was blurry or I was out. But when I stirred while they ran away, one said quote 'the D.A. won't be fucking with the kings no more'."  
"Thats really good miss Hailey." Rollins tried to comfort her and she sighed, "call me gray. Short for Grayson."  
"Ok gray, is there anyhing else?" Fin asked.  
"Yeah, the one that went first, he had a tattoo on his face. Off the edge of the left eyebrow, a scar line. They also referred to him as captain. I believe one said captain lucraso right before the bastard gave me a black eye for spitting in his eye."  
Rollins stood and her and fin left the room after writing down a couple key comments. Benson and barba came back in and she apologized for your attack and barba almost looked sick.

Rafael handed gray a bottle of water and a pudding cup.  
"My favorite." You rolled your eyes as he mumbled, "it's all I could fine."  
You smiled as he sat back down, liv moved to the foot of the bed.  
She asked if she could talk for a moment, "miss hailey..."  
You flinched, "grayson or gray please."  
"Gray, I need to ask about one of the statements you gave my detectives. What were the exact words the attackers said?"  
"The D.A. won't be fucking with the kings no more." You whispered.  
"This is my fault." Rafael stated, "This happened because of me."  
Benson immediately put her hand on rafi's shoulder to calm him and he shrugged it off, "I did this!"  
"No you didn't rafael! You didn't do any of this!" You motioned to your broken, bruised, and bloody body, "this is from gangbangers, not you. You would never do this!"  
He stared across at you almost in tears, "it happened because..."  
"Doesn't matter, you didn't do it." you leaned up in pain to grab his hand, "rafi por favor, it's not your fault."  
He quickly calmed down to get you to lean back again. 

Benson apologized and left to work the case. Rafi sat back down and she started humming.  
"this is my fault. "  
"Rafi it isn't your fault."  
"They targeted you because I'm trying the case."  
"But you didn't do it.... besides I know better then to walk down alleys alone."  
"Cariño, you aren't to blame for choosing to..."  
"I'm just as much to blame for getting attacked as you are by your logic."  
"No..."  
"Objection!"  
"What?"  
"Objection!"  
He looked intrigued, "on what grounds?"  
"Uhhhh.... Speculation."  
He tilted his head.  
"Can't overrule that can you, chica?" She beamed at his silence.  
"Chica? Really?" He smiled.  
"Yes, I always call you cutie."  
"You google translated how to say cutie?"  
"Bad habit, trying to understand you..."  
"You google translate what I say?" He chuckled.  
"You don't translate much for me anymore... I only know what you use repeatedly."  
"So you google what to say to me?" He had that lawyer look, like he caught her in a lie on the stand.  
"No, I practice what to say in spanish cause you never taught me like you said you would." She met his stare and gave him a silent challenge.  
"Por favor cariño, I have taught you plenty for what little I actually see you."  
"Oh so now Mr. Suave wants to call me out for having a job and living? You work all the time and barely have a life outside the courtroom if you believe your mother."  
"You've never met my mother."  
"But am I wrong, you deflected it quickly."  
"You used chica right... in female tense but right."  
She rolled your eyes.  
"Creo que tenemos tiempo." He smiles, "why not start?"

About 30 minutes later, the doctor walked in and brought her elease paper and went over care instructions. Rafael asked questions and made sure to understand everything. After another 30 minutes she was in thin clothes being wheeled out to a waiting car, rafael by her side as she drove back to his place. He called herprescriptions in for delivery and began making her comfortable, clearly over compensating. He helped her wash up a little, change into comfortable clothes, and on the couch. She layed there in his Harvard hoodie, baggy sweatpants, and she managed to talk him into a pair of socks as well. He put two pillows under your ankle, ice on top, and a blanket for her to snuggle in. Her birthday/valentines day throw blanket, he had carsi drop it off at his place as a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Por favor, mi ángel - please my angel  
> Chica - cutie/girl  
> Creo que tenemos tiempo - I guess we have time now.


	4. a unpleasant conversation

Rafael sat down on the floor in front of where she laid on the couch, she stroked his hair softly. He leaned into the touch and rested his head very lightly on her arm/chest.  
"So... where were we?" He smiled looking towards her.  
"You were teaching me elementary level spanish... I believe we were on colors."  
"I thought you wanted to learn spanish."  
"Yes but I was thinking more.... substantial. I could watch dora for what you've done."  
"Are you comparing me to a little cartoon girl?"  
"Yes. And by the way, when our baby is born... she or he will not go exploring without adult supervision and she will not have a pet monkey. I don't care if it can talk or not, that thing will not be near our baby." She dramatized her response until he broke down laughing.  
"Cariño, I completely agree our child will never befriend a talking monkey and go exploring without adult supervision... and lo siento about my teaching style but I never taught spanish to anyone before."  
"It's not the style rafi, it's the subject. I get it, I know the colors, I can count to100 easily enough, and please don't start teaching me to read the time too or I'll just go back to high school and get a younger boyfriend."  
"Why not, your already pregnant and you could easily pass as a teenager."  
She fake hurt, placing a hand over her heart, "well I never. You smooth talking cuban Mr. Suave, you just have all the answers don't you."  
"I do... thats why I'm a A.D.A. and your not."  
"Well then... guess you don't need me around."   
He spun around to his knees and put his lips almost touching hers, "I do need you gray. Need, want, love.... would I be on my knees while you are spoiled with comfort if not?"  
They kissed until she winced, he pulled back quickly, "lo siento gray.."  
She interrupted, "it's fine. Rafi, I'm fine."

**********************rafael***************************  
The doorbell buzzed and rafael kissed her forehead before leaving to get the door. He answered and signed for the medicine delivery. 4 pills on strict time schedule, he walked them to the kitchen and double checked the labeling before placing them on the counter next to the notes of care. Another buzz, he frowned as he walked back to the door. The D.A. and public press rep for police, Abraham, was at his door.   
"I'm sorry but I already called and recused myself from the case and took personal time for this....let's say vacation. Call my assistant for which councilors took which case." He started to shut the door when the D.A. spoke.  
"Actually councilor, that is why we need to talk to you. May we come in?"  
"Not exactly the best time, but if you insist... please be quick." He opened the door and ushered them in.

He motion them to the kitchen after apologizing to grayson on the couch for the intrusion. After they stepped in he quickly walked to the fridge for some water. Offering a beverage to the men, who turn it down.  
"So to what do i owe the pleasure?"  
"You recursion, it was denied." The D.A. spoke.  
"I'm sorry, what?"  
"Your current court case is in direct relation to this attack and we believe it best if you stay on both." Abraham smiled.  
"Your kidding, my girlfriend was assaulted and raped because I am trying this case. Even a law student drop out could get it thrown out."  
"That won't happen. Both parties have agreed on keeping you on this case but the other cases we will leave to the other councilors. And after both cases are done in court, you will be eligible to use vacation time. Hell I'll give you 2 weeks paid to help your girlfriend recover but after the cases are done."  
"I'm taking care of her right now, I am her only caregiver."  
"Nypd will gladly assign a protective detail for her safety and yours. But as for care she has to have..."   
Rafael interrupted, "no. No I have to take care of her."  
"Around working you can, you will be trying this case or you won't have a job."   
He looked up and both men said there goodbyes and left.

Rafael walked back to the couch visibly upset.  
"Whats wrong?"  
"I am still trying the case."  
"Really?"  
"I try it or I lose my job."  
"such an open threat, I'm sorry."  
He leaned down to give herna kiss, soft but passion filled, "I can't say I don't want to... be the one that breaks them on the stand, show the jury how evil they are... be the one that brings justice."  
"You want to be my hero rafael.... you want to save me."  
"Exactly."  
"You know you're already my superman. Even if your always late because you were washing your cape."  
He chuckled, "te amo."  
"I love you more"  
He steals a kiss, "yet I love you the most."  
"Then you should go work this case. I'll be fine."  
"I'm not leaving you alone in this condition."  
"Then call carisi. I'm assuming I need to be in protective custody and he knows by now I was injured. I doubt he'll be much help on the case with the bias already held by you." She watched him flinch but you kept going, "He's already asked about me I know, he'll gladly play nurse if it means you win this."  
"I truely love you...or I wouldn't be thinking of letting carisi in my home."  
She laughs and he calls carisi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Te amo - I love you


	5. carisi, chilton, and broken spanish

*************************you****************************  
A short time later after carisi recuesed himself, he knocks on the door and rafael lets him in.  
He sits a bag down by the door and walks over for a hug, "nightwing you look better."  
"Thanks sonny, and thanks for playing nurse. "  
"Thank you carsi and please take off your dirty shoes." Rafael moved the bag to a side table and turned back, "medicine on counter with the care instructions from the doctor and my notes. And please, don't destroy the house."  
Rafael grabbed his brief case and kissed her goodbye before leaving and promising to call to check in.

Sonny turned back, "whats with him? Didn't you two make up?"  
"Wait he told you about this morning?"  
"Yesterday morning and The squad could see something was up and I asked him about it in private. He spilled and was telling how he was worried sick about you."  
"I think he is finally starting to like you."  
"More like I was the only one that had already knew about you two."  
"Ok so what's in the bag?"  
"Changing direction but ok, your clothes. I stopped at your apartment and grabbed a few things for you."  
"Awe... thanks. You know I don't see how he is so annoyed by you.."  
He laughed and went to make the food while she turned on the tv. First thing on is the news (dont need to hear about myself right now), she flipped through mindlessly looking for anything decent. Smiling, she left it on Hannibal and sonny brought in the food a short time later.

"Oooo... is that chicken?" She perked up as he handed her the plate.  
"Baked chicken and roasted potatoes, but you gotta take your medicine now."  
Sonny put 2 pills in her hand and handed her a bottle of water. She swallowed them down and started to eat the potatoes.  
"what is this?"  
"Hannibal. "  
"Seriously? Like I don't get enough of this at work?"  
"Shut it. My temp home, my pick... and I pick Hannibal."  
"Ok fine.... so what is going on?"  
"Wait wait.... here he comes. My favorite character."  
"Who? That dude."  
"Dr. Frederick Chilton... the man is invincible."  
"I know this is based from a horror movie but an invincible man?"  
"No no no, not like that. He just... he had a kidney stolen... he was shot in the face and lived.... I mean this dude is invincible. "  
"Coming from the bionic woman, I guess I'll just leave it."  
She glared at sonny who quickly moved from his spot by her feet. The two of them joked, talked, and watched Hannibal the rest of the day. Next thing she knew, rafael walked in to see her feet proped up on sonnys lap and both of them intensely watching the tv.

"Good evening, I trust carisi took good care of you?" Rafael walked over and kissed her forehead.  
"He fed me, gave me water, and made me take my medicine... I think he did well. But sonny, I wouldn't quit the day job."  
They both laughed and rafael rolled his eyes.  
"Your right, " sonny whispered, "he does."  
"What?" Rafael raised a brow.  
They both just laughed and rafael almost hurried sonny out the door. She went to adjust on the couch but he quickly stopped her.

"Cariño, it's late. Why don't I help you to the bed." Rafael helped her up slowly and handed her the crutches.  
He helped her back to the bedroom, she frowned as she sat on the bed, "can you bring me my bag? I need some night clothes."  
He nodded and went to bring the bag, nothing to sleep in.  
"Dammit sonny, bring me clothes and no pajamas."  
"I'm sure I have something you can use." Rafi smiled digging out a old tshirt, "let me help you."  
He slowly pulled the hoodie over her head, carefully sliding the sweatpants off, and the socks. He carefully removed the wrap to change her bandages, before rewrapping her waist, ankle, and arm. He was extremely gental in his touches, then he slid the shirt on her. She smiled as he kissed her forehead.

"Waf-fee," she smiled, "can you do one more thing?"  
"Absolutely cariño."  
"I don't sleep in bras..."  
Rafi froze for a moment, she squeezed his hand, "nothing has to happen if your scared of hurting me. I just need you to undo it so I don't pull my stitches trying."  
He looked hesitant and she gave a pout, "por fav-or, waf-fee."  
He chuckled at the sad attempt at spanish meant as a joke, "yes mi amor, I can do that."  
He slid his hand up the back of the shirt and undid it, he helped her push it off. She laid back and sighed, rafael changed in front of her...again.  
"Se burlan." She grumbled.  
"Me? Your the one that made me undo your bra."  
"But your the one standing in front me naked."  
Rafael pulled on sweatpants, "better?"  
"Not really."  
"Cariño, we shouldn't. You aren't even close to healed....it hasn't even been a day since you were released."  
"Can you blame me for trying? Look at you rafael, how can I resist?"  
He sat on the edge of the bed, "gray, you went through..."  
She interrupted, "please don't! I'm going to get that from everyone, please don't make me have to hear it from you too."  
"Gray most people in your position... they avoid any kind of sexual interaction like the plage."  
"Rafael, half my personality is sexual innuendos and jokes... if I let this get to me, I become some else."  
"Not dealing with it is just gonna make things worse."  
"I am dealing with it. Rafi, you know my past... you know what I've went through growing up.... you know I can handle myself..."  
Rafael interrupts, "I never said you couldn't."  
"But your acting like it."

He froze. She took his hand and pulled it to her lips.  
One kiss, "I am dealing with this."  
Two kisses, "I am healing. "  
Three kisses, "I will make it through this."  
Four kisses, "we'll make it through this."  
Rubs knuckles lightly, "we'll always make it through rafael. We only get stronger with time."

He leans down to hover over her face, "I know cariño, I know. I'm just scared. We have a baby on the way, you are brutally injured, I have the highest blood pressure and worst migraine ever that won't go away till the case is done... I... I guess, I'm still adjusting."  
She kissed him, "I understand rafi."  
He smiles, "this just... This is not how I thought any of this would go."  
"To be fair if you thought I would get pregnant and then gang raped as well as look like the hunchback of notre Dame... I would be reconsidering this relationship."  
He chuckled and she kissed his nose, then cheek, then down the jaw line, his chin, and finally his waiting lips.  
"I'm sorry I'm over reacting...."  
"Your not rafi.... I'm under reacting due to my history. But thats why we'll get through this.... you and I balance each other out."  
"Te amo."  
"Yo te quiero más." She smiled at his chuckle of surprise.  
"Te amo y su quebrado español más."  
"That was a shot at my spanish wasn't it."  
"I love you and your broken spanish most."  
She kissed him, "thank you."  
"Let's sleep now amor," he layed beside her and pulled the blanket over both of them.

She layed her head on his chest and pulled her body to his side, he froze, "please rafi, put your arm around me. It makes me feel safer."  
He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head, "it'll take time to get back to where we were. But I promise I'll keep you safe, as safe as I can."  
"I love you rafael barba."  
"I love you grayson hailey."  
She stretched her neck to kiss him, before tucking it back to his chest.  
"Good night waf-fee."  
"dulces sueños ángel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Te amo - I love you  
> yo te quiero más - I love you  
> Te amo y su quebrado español más - I love you and your broken spanish most  
> dulces sueños ángel - sweet dreams  
> 


	6. D. Nightwing

The next morning, rafael's alarm went off and he untangled from her. He quickly showered as she slowly got herself up, looking at raf's oversized shirt. She tugged it on instead of the sweatshirt she had been wearing, and then skipped the pants because her booty shorts would be good enough. Crutching her way to the kitchen, she made breakfast with little struggle. Started the coffee, pulled out eggs and sausage, and cooked them up. Sausage first, browning it in the skillet and searing each link off. Quickly dropping the bread in the toaster, she then rolled the sausage on a paper towel covered plate then did the eggs. Omlet, rafi's favorite, with a little seasoning and a little onion and pepper from the fridge, splash of milk. She pulled a plate and slid the omlet on it, sausage on the side, and a piece of toast. She made the plates and poured his coffee. Carrying the plates to the table and then his coffee.

"Por favor cariño, sit down. Don't over exert yourself."  
"Good morning to you too rafi."  
She plopped down in a chair as he grabbed a glass and poured her milk.  
"Thank you." She motioned for him to sit and he did.  
He sipped the coffee and smiled as he ate, "Delicioso."  
"Now that one I know. "  
"You didn't have to do this.... nor should you of."  
"But I did, stop coddling."  
He nodded and ate quickly after catching a glimpse of the time. Then the doorbell buzzed.

Rafi went to the door and let carsi in, they walked to the kitchen.  
"Good morning beautiful, " carisi gave her a little hug.  
"Morning sonny, grab a plate."  
He quickly made a plate and got a cup of coffee as rafael washed his plate and grabbed his suit jacket, "gotta go cariño, meeting with svu in half a hour."  
He kissed her forehead and promised to check in then he left.

Sonny sat down and smiled.  
"What you smiling at?"  
"You two."  
She raised her brow questioningly.  
"You two really do make a cute couple."  
She squinted.  
"Seriously gray, I didn't get it when you first told me but I see now. Especially after what happened, you two are perfect for each other."  
"Thanks sonny. Anything new on the case?"  
"Gray."  
"Please sonny. Rafael won't tell me and I will have to testify."  
"Barba said he would do a grand jury statement so you won't..."  
"It won't work. Come on carisi you passed the bar, would you pull that move and expect a win."  
"No. He'll get shot down, but he'll still try so you don't have to take the stand."  
"But I will. And I will have to go through cross. I'm not gonna pretend I won't. "  
"If I tell you he'll kill me."  
"He won't last in jail, he wouldn't chance it."  
He laughed, "fine. The 2 found unconscious are being held while the squad are exacuting a warrent to arrest the other 4."  
"So I did fight pretty good."  
"Understatement, we found video of the fight and rape."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. That and the lineup ids you'll make will have them behind bars in no time."  
"Great, so.... more Hannibal?"  
"Sure. I'll bring it up and get the ice for your ankle. You might want to put on pants."  
She blushed, "yeah...sorry."

He left and she limped back to change. Quickly getting a bra, one of her shirts, and her undies and jeans. Heading back to the living room she plopped down and rested her feet on sonny's lap. He put the ice on her ankle and started the episode. The two of them chatted and watched tv until he got a call from barba.  
"As much as I want to see will go to the psych hospital and see how chilton is doing with his insides back where they belong. I got to get you to the squad room for the lineups. Barba wants you there in 40 minutes."  
"Fuck, fine but I swear if I don't get to finish this episode... I will make you look like chilton did." She pointed threateningly.  
He laughed and went to get her socks. He slipped them on and grabbed herr converse to put on.  
"We'll finish it, just not now. Come on, barba will kill me if I don't get you there on time."  
"Or in one piece..."  
"I will give you that one." He laughed, "leave it to you to get me addicted to a serial killer."  
"Show yes the killer himself.... thats on you." She smiled as he helped her in the car.

The drive was fairly quick, and getting into the building was easy. Sonny helped her off the elevator on svu floor with 5 minutes to spare, she smiled as he sighed with relief. He lead her to his desk, pulling out the chair as she opted to lean sit on his desk.  
"Carisi. What are you doing here? I thought you were on vacation." Fin came walking out with Rollins and nick.  
"And who is this?" Nick asked smiling at her.  
"Vacation is just till after this case and this is the victim." Carisi nodded.  
"Oh thanks sonny," she almost glared, "please call me gray."  
Nick looked stunned and carisi spoke up, "you remember Amanda rollins and Odafin Tutuola," fin waved and added, "call me fin." As rollins finished, "and that is nick amaro."  
"Nice to meet you and se ya'll again." She smiled as carisi introduced her, "this is the one and only grayson hailey. Known better as D. Nightwing".  
"Hey slim shady, I don't need a hypeman." She nudged carsi.  
"That sounds familiar. " rollins stated.  
"She's an amazing songwriter, 20 number 1s in the past year. Right gray?" Carisi smiled.  
"Why do I claim to know you in public again?" Gray asked as everyone laughed. Nick kept an eye on her and she started to wonder if barba told them or if they shared the info with each other. 

Before gray knew it barba and Benson came out of her office and strait to the group.  
"Grayson how are you doing?" Rafael came over and they hugged.  
"Fine rafi, meds are working great" she smiled.  
When she pulled back she seen carisi shift in the chair (rafael gave him a look for having me sit on the desk.).  
"Good, ready for the line ups?"  
"Of course."  
"Good, me and liv will be with you the entire time. They were just getting it set up now."  
The rest of the squad left to take there spots as rafi looked at carisi, "can we talk a moment carsi?"

*****************rafael********************  
They walked away from the desk, barba turning to carisi.  
Carisi spoke first, "I offered her the chair, she sat there instead."  
"Not what I was going to say but noted. I was going to ask what she knows. What have you told her?"  
"Nothing she didn't already know."  
Rafael gave his signature "you sure about that" look.  
"Yes. I told her there was six people only after she confirmed it several times, video footage of the whole attack, and that she knocked out two of the six." Sonny defended.  
"You shouldn't of said anything."  
"It's gray we're talking about here. She would only keep asking until one of us said something."  
(He's right. you already asked me 3 times. He didn't give anything damaging.)

***********************you******************  
Gray watched as rafael and sonny walked away. Benson still standing there she turn to her.  
"I have a question."  
Benson looked over.  
"Rafael told me what happened to you."  
"Therapy. Does wonders."  
"Not what I was gonna ask. I wanted to ask what its like testifying on the stand."  
She looked taken aback.  
"I have my own therapy.... it's worked on several occasions, If your concerned."  
Sheclooked towards her.  
"And please no speech like you give to other victims... if I wanted that I'd ask those two." She motioned to the two men outta earshot.  
"Terrifying.... putting yourself out there to be judged by everyone. Hoping for justice because it can't be guaranteed. " she sighed, "knowing one side defends you and the other side belittling them. For us slut shaming, trying to convince the jury you wanted it."  
"I figured that... don't know why I asked."  
Liv started to say something but the two men came back over.  
"Are you ready for the lineup cariño?" Rafi smiled half heartedly.  
"Lets get it over with." She smiled back.

Carisi excused himself, rafael and liv helped her up and to the first line up.  
She quickly picked out the guy, no hesitation. She repeated with each line up, one by one picking each attacker out. After the last, benson helped her out with barba following behind. She went back to carisi's desk where carisi sat.  
"Were done here now?" Carisi smiled.  
"I think its time for a drink." She smiled and rafael glared, "no drinking while on medicine."  
"Dry house it is love." She smiled at rafi, "but I meant work."  
Rafi shook his head, "I know you did, I also know your work. No drinking." He points at carisi, "no drinking."  
Carisi nodded and the squad starts to return as the defense lawyer showed up.

************************rafael**********************  
"councilor, a word." A fat man walks up and looks at barba before turning to gray, "about this case and victim."  
She refrained from flinching at his stare and words, and barba shot back, "Buchanan, how did they raise enough money for your bill?"  
"My innocent clients are pilars of the community and there funds aren't your concern."  
Rafael glared, "step off of your soap box if you want to talk councilor."  
He motion him to bensons office after giving gray a quick glance with his signature smirk. (I hope she stays like that on the stand... fearless and strong.)

The door shuts behind both men and benson. Liv sits at her desk, buchanan watched barba shut the door and then walk to lean on the desk.  
"What did you want councilor?" Liv asked.  
"To settle this out of court. This case is a nightmare for all parties. All six of my clients, the police, the D.A.'s office.... your girlfriend." Buchanan let it roll off his tongue as rafael looked visibly angry, "hate to have to put her on the stand with the media circus already swarming. "  
"Is that a threat?" He glared.  
"No, its a suggestion. With a past like hers... your sure thing could just, whats the word, crumble?"  
"Thats enough councilor," benson stood.  
"5 years, plead down of course."  
"With the case we have, They will get life for that assault."  
"I'm not so sure. You have till noon tomorrow before the deal expires." Buchanan leaves the room and asks to see his clients. 

"The deal is outrages." Barba growled.  
"The case is strong, thats why he offered the deal." Liv tried to reassure.  
"He seemed really sure of himself... he put a time on it."  
"Barba, we got them. The evidence is solid."  
"Still... something just doesn't seem right. He was way to..."  
"Cocky." Liv finished.  
"I want this clean and by the book, liv. Double check everything and make sure the original witnesses are prepared for prep as well as the bartender. Something doesn't seem right."  
"I'll get right on that. You get to your office and we'll see you at court." Liv reassured as they left her office. 

******************gray***************  
Gray leaned on carisi's desk and stared at the office, expecting a fight as she felt the tension rafael gave off at 'buchanan's' words. Rollins and carisi went to the breakroom and fin was on the computer doing something. Nick walked back with a spare cup of coffee from the breakroom handing it to her.  
"Grayson was it. Want some coffee?" He smiled handing out a cup.  
"Thanks but no thanks. Not a fan of coffee." She blushed and tried to hide it.  
Gray never liked the taste of coffee and always got embarrassed when people offered it, which in turn made her blush brightly. One of the few things she truely hated about herself, blushing over nothing, stuttering periodically, and her laugh.  
"No problem, maybe I could get you something else?"  
"No, I'll be leaving shortly anyways." She bit the inside of her cheek to stop from blushing.  
"Just let me know if you need anything."  
"Will do." She smiled as he went off to do something.  
"Hey fin?" She looked over towards him.  
"Yeah, he was flirting."  
"He doesn't know does he?"  
"Nope, haven't had a lot of time for that discussion at briefings."

Grayson opened her mouth to speak but rafael walked out before she could, "Grayson, I have open time about 4pm for your prep. Be on time ok?"  
"Guessing that wasn't a pleasant meeting."  
He gave a warning stare and kissed her forehead, "not one bit. Don't be late."  
"Hey rafi?"  
"Yes?"  
"What was that about?"  
"Buchanan was letting me know he was taking this to the news, well threatened me with that."  
She froze, the thought of her rape making the news was shutting her down. He seen and quickly remedy the situation.  
"Hey, hey, hey... it'll be fine. Crème cariño, I promise."  
She nodded and looked up at his face. He wiped her single tear and nodded.  
"See you at 4."  
She smirked and barba walked over to carisi to tell him aswell. She looked over at fin, and said it was nice meeting you before carisi came over and helped her up. He mumbled something about rafael being bossy and she chuckled stepping onto the elevator. Carisi forgot something and ran back to grab it saying he'll be right down. The doors dinged real quick and nick stepped on, before the doors closed.

"Pleasure seeing you again." He smiled.  
"You could say that." No hiding that blush.  
"So maybe, after the case we could get a drink sometime?"  
"That sounds..." her words were cut off by the elevator doors opening and carisi standing there.  
"Couldn't hold the elevator for me?" Sonny panted.  
"Nope. But I can take you for a drink while I go work."  
"Fair enough." Carisi helped her to the car and went to micks bar. The rest of the day till 4 was her working on music with mick. Just mind numbing work and empty chat. Something to take her mind off of the case she was apart of. Carisi watched the tv off to the side, Buchanan on the news talking about a certain song writer alleged rape. Gray focused away from it (you knew it would hit the news. Rafi told you it would. Just ignore it, push it aside for him to handle).


	7. practice isn't my thing

At 10 till gray and sonny walked into barbas office, where his secretary told them to wait because he wasn't seeing guess. Gray tried to argue but sonny gave in and she, sadly, did as well. She glared at her the whole time, knowing rafael would never make her sit out there and wait. Sonny tried to calm her down seeing the look she had.  
"She's just doing her job." He whispered.  
"I can still hold that against her."  
"He's in a meeting, it won't be long."  
"Sure it won't."

5 minutes pass 4 o'clock and they both sat outside. Gray was about to limp away when the door opened and Rafael stepped out.  
"Carmen, is my 4 o'clock here ye..." he stopped and smiled at her, "cariño, come right in."  
She entered the office and sat on his couch visibly annoyed.  
"Your lat..." He squatted down patting her knee, "whats wrong?"  
"We were here early... SHE wouldn't let us in."  
He leaned back and stood up, "I see. Well come along, I only have a short time with the court room." He stretched his hand out to pull her up. On the way out the door with the file he stopped.  
"Oh by the way carmen," he points to gray, "this beautiful woman, she gets entry to the office no matter what. I say no calls, she still gets in."  
She nodded and he helped her to the court room as carsi took a break.

******************************rafael***************************************  
"You understand why we're doing this?" Rafi asked.  
"So I'm prepared for court."  
"And so we don't have any surprises."  
"I'm not gonna break rafi.... you know me better."  
"That I do. But anyways, completely professional on the stand."  
Gray nodded and he started.  
"Miss hailey may I call you grayson?"  
"Yes."  
"Grayson, you were the victim in a brutal assault. Is that correct?"  
"Yes but seriously?"  
"Gray..."  
"That would be an objection on the defenses part."  
"Gray, I love you, let me do my job." He gave her the lawyer look.  
"Sorry. Lets try this again."  
"Grayson, please tell the jury what occurred the day in question."  
"I was walking home from work when I was attacked and gang raped by six men."  
"Do you see the six men who attacked you in this court room today?"  
"Yes."  
"Can you point them out?"  
"Yes," she pointed to the empty stand over dramaticly.  
"Cariño..."  
"I'm sorry rafi, I know how you'll play it, I know how to answer. I just, practice like this isn't easy for me."  
"Ok... what if we practice cross. Give you a feel for that." He raised his brow tossing his jacket down on the jury Banister.  
"Ok."  
"Miss hailey, you stated you were walking home from work the day in question. Is that correct?"  
"Yes."  
"Where do you work?"  
"I work as a song writer, so mainly from home or at my friends apartment."  
"You were on your way home from your friends the day in question?"  
"Yes."  
"Where does your friend live?"  
"He lives above the bar he owns. 16 blocks from my apartment."  
"Did you have drinks before your walk?"  
"One. Half glass of scotch spread out over an hour and immediately followed by water."  
"So you were drinking?"  
"A drink."  
Barba scuffed, "gray you know..."  
"I know! You can't protect me on cross, they'll be ruthless, I will be annoyed to no end but can't show it."  
"You can't take it personal."  
"Maybe we should try this later?"  
"Grayson I don't want to see you get hurt on the stand..."  
"I'm gonna get hurt rafael! You can't protect me all the time."  
"Your right, let's... let's take a break. Just breath."  
"No rafi, I think we should take a break from this place." She stood up and he grabbed his jacket.  
"We won't have practice time again before you take the stand."  
"So be it, I always suck at practice runs." He helped her out and up to his office.

Gray walked in and sat on his couch, he sat beside her.  
"We have 20 minutes before I need to go to court."  
"Good, sonny should be back in 15."  
He smiled at her, "what should we do with this time?"  
"You won't take my suggestion," she smiled as he rolled his eyes.  
"Good thing I wanted to surprise you," rafael stood and walked to his desk and pulled a small bag from his drawer, "foot long sub, roast beef and provolone. Wasn't sure if you'd be hungry during prep. You know, baby and all."  
"You hide food in your desk?"  
"I did learn some things from you...."  
"You know the cravings don't start the minutes a girl gets pregnant right?"  
"Yes but... still, shall we split it?"  
"I love you."  
"Love you too cariño." He unwrapped the sub as he sat back down.  
"No I meant the sub."  
He scuffed, "of course you did."  
"To amo." She nudged him, "Mi abogado guapo. "  
"Fiscal de distrito." He smiled, "now do you want the surprise or not?"  
"Yes of course. What monster turns down this gorgeous masterpiece."  
He hands her half the sub, "so I ordered it correctly?"  
"Yes.... but I meant you." She took a bite and smiled.  
" Va a ser la muerte de amarme."  
She cocked her head and chewed slowly.  
"You will be the death of me my love."  
"Your cute when you get all excited about being a dad, or so caring/protective."  
"I just want the best for you," he kissed her forehead, "and you." He rubbed her none showing belly.

The two talked but he was still lost in thought. (Why was Buchanan so cocky? There is nothing in her past I don't know...but... if she was anyone else I would have her vetted inside and out.i need to do it... I have too.)

The two of them ate quickly, she even wiped his face off and straightened his tie.  
"Gracias cariño." He kissed her and helped her stand up as sonny knocked, "enter."  
"Perfect timing. Let's get a drink." She winked at carisi and rafi pulled her into another kiss, "see you tonight councilor."  
"Call you when I'm on my way home." And he looked at carisi, "carisi... don't let anything happen."  
"Of course councilor." He smiled.

Barba waited for her to leave before he called benson, asking for her to be vetted, knowing this was gonna end badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mi abogado guapo - my handsome lawyer  
> Fiscal de distrito - district attorney


	8. can it really get worse?

Gray and carsi went to micks bar and she worked more. New music, straight off the top of her head. Writing it out little by little, adjusting as she went. Carsi sat just outside the recording booth talking with mick.  
"So this is a normal session."  
"Sometimes, when she works on new music and gets to involved. Usually she leaves the door open or asks me in, you know the little less work method."  
Sonny laughed, "sounds like gray."  
"Do you want to hear her work some?"  
"Sure."  
Mick flipped the switch and the sound of the piano filled the room. Soft melody running smoothly, a smile covered her face as it came together. Both men watched as she got lost in the work. Mick flipped the switch back and chuckled.  
"Amazing isn't it? The way she just gets lost."  
"I always wondered how she can write so many number 1s."  
"She gets lost in the music.... thats how she does it."

There was a buzz from downstairs, then a guy got on the speaker.  
"Mickey you got a guest."  
"Send them up I guess." Mick spun around to get up and answer the locked door.  
"Mr. Michael Corsson. You have been served."  
"What?" Mick checked the papers as gray popped out to see what was up.  
"You are a witness for the defense," carsi scuffed.  
"You have too sir." Carsi was handed a set as well.  
Gray opened her mouth but the man just left. She just had two friends served papers to testify against her.  
"What the hell," mick looked up.  
"Call barba... we got a problem. " carsi looked over.

*************************rafael*********************  
Barba sat on the edge of a table in the squad room.  
"Is everything covered?"  
"Yes councilor. We also vetted grayson after you called," rollins stopped, "it's... pretty heavy."  
"I know, but buchanan was too sure of himself. What did you find?"   
Amanda and fin stepped,out to join nick in the interview room as liv led barba to her office.  
"She has a bad history of abuse..."  
"She's the poster child for abuse, I get it. She told me all that."  
"All of it."  
"Mommy tried to kill her at 2, daddy got custody and made her his punching bag on occasion until one day it went to far and he got charged. Mom got custody on a loop hole and pimped her out. 18 graduation day she ran far away and never went back, never tried to go back or stay in contact with anyone. Three abusive relationships that all end with her leaving them before they hurt her, one escalating to stalking before he died in a car accident. Few friends, mostly a loaner, no criminal history on record, and most importantly she is healing fine now."  
"Then why did we vet her?"  
"Because I had to be sure. Nothing different?"  
"One thing, her dad died in jail 8 years ago and she did mildly keep in contact with him."  
"Letters twice a month, she forgave him even though she hates him."  
Liv nods.  
"No record or files involving her specificly besides the custody papers?"  
"None. I went home state, new york, and interpol. Nothing."  
"Ok then... she doesnt have aliases?"  
"None to a file besides her business alias."  
"Good...."  
"How you handling everything?"  
He took a deep breath but was cut off by his phone ringing.

He looked at the phone and sighed, "mi amor, what's wrong?"  
"Its nothing like that rafi.... I just wanted to let you know the defense subpoena carsi and mick."  
"Both of them?"  
"Yeah, just now."  
"On record, I can't speak to either one and neither should you. Off record, carsi better be taking care of you.... and you might want to get home. I'll be home shortly, a few quick things to take care of."  
"Ok, see you soon rafi."

He hung up the phone and looked up, "the defense subpoena carsi and grays friend. What past is buchanan focusing on?"  
"We can keep digging..."  
"Please. I need to find everything he might use."  
"You should get home. Gray will be waiting. "  
"Yeah.... she always does. " he smiled.  
"I know this isn't my business, but how long have you two been dating?"  
"Really its not.... but 2 years off and on."  
"Off and on."  
"She was between here and london."  
"How serious are you?"  
He smiled and reached in his pocket, "serious enough I got this." He showed her the ring. "I was gonna give it to her the night she got attacked. Beautiful dinner out, walk in the park.... classic romantic."  
"That serious. "  
"I never told anyone because we were off and on. She is staying here now, she decided that and we talked about moving in."  
"Well thats great, baby on the way and all."  
"Does everyone know?"  
"No. Amaro doesn't know you two are dating and I'm the only one knowing about the baby."  
"Thank you liv."  
"Don't hide it. Spill it before the case is over."  
"We'll see." Rafael smiled, "dig deeper, run the alias, play buchanan's game. I need to know what he is planning."

***************************you*********************  
Carsi drove her to her apartment, helped her up all the steps and in the door.  
"You sure you want to stay here? Barba's place is more assessable and more room."  
"But I don't have my things there.... I want my things. The familiarity is what I need. Besides, it's open in here..."  
"Ok... I'll just..."  
"Go," she interrupted, "he'll be here shortly. I'll just lay down."  
"Gray..."  
"I'll deal with rafi. Go home sonny." She hugged him.  
"See you tomorrow gray. I'll walk you up to the courtroom doors."  
"You better." She smiled as he left.

Gray dropped on her bed, small bounce, and rolled over to grab the tv controller. Rolling back over, turning the tv on and just channel surfing. Nothing much on so she left it on a crime show. Aledge rape and murder of a young girl. She mindlessly watched, not even hearing the door open. Rafael walked in, seen her laying in bed, seen what was on the tv.  
"Cariño, you don't need to be watching that." He turned the tv off.  
"Good to see you too rafael."  
"It doesn't look like your dealing with this. Grayson por favor, Crèeme."  
"Please what?"  
"Trust me. Gray trust me."  
"I trust you. I do rafael. I just don't want to discuss it."  
"You need to. If not me, someone. But i will have to hear it....in court at least."  
"Rafi please. Just let me deal with it myself. You will arraigned them, I will be there...come court I will testify... but don't force me to talk, please."  
"You need to process what happened."  
"I am! Rafael please... I am dealing, just not like you are use to. Please, I promise I am." She started shaking and pulled her knees to her chest.  
He crossed to the bed quickly, pulled her into his arms, "shhhhhh.... I'm sorry, lo siento, gray.... please it's ok. Lo siento cariño, I'm sorry."  
He kissed her forehead and she unrolled, tucking her head into his chest, arms around his waist, and the soft sobs practically silenced as he rubbed her back.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to argue..."  
"It wasn't the argument rafi, it's fucking everything! To much at once. You want me to talk, carsi tries to push it, mick won't touch it unless I bring it up, and I can't constantly sit and listen to everyone's idea to grieve."  
"Shhhhhhhhh..... it's ok. I'm not talking about it now. Just tell me your ok."  
"I'm not ok," her words broken from her sobs and talking into his chest.  
He pulled her up and brought her face to his, a soft kiss, "no your fine, you'll be ok."  
He pushed her back on the bed, pulling her to his chest tighter and rolling over so she was on top, "hush now love, everything will be fine."  
His words echoed in her head as she fell asleep.


	9. good morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is purely a smut chapter. If you wish to skip it, you will miss nothing important.

Morning comes early seeing as gray and Rafael barely moved the whole night. His alarm went off and he just let it go, after the hours she spent intertwined with him, she was surprised to see him unmoved. He finally hits dismiss, and kisses her lips....then cheek, neck, shoulder, down to the cleavage line on her shirt. She was shocked, he hadn't done anything like this since the attack.  
"Waf-fee..."  
"Shhhhh, don't speak." He whispered against her skin making her moan.  
Not that she wanted this to stop, but his alarm means get ready for work not have sex. He pushed the shirt up her stomach and kissed every inch of the belly, before pushing the shirt off her and tossing it across the room. His fingers gently trace her bra line and slowly he leaned down to undo the front clasp...with his tongue. That clever little tongue of his! She was dying for the feel of him covering more.

****************************rafael**************************  
(What am I doing? Shes pregnant and three days ago brutally raped. Now I'm encouraging her remarks? I didn't want to do anything sexual untill she was atleast walking without crutches or able to touch her scars without her almost crying or wincing in pain and now I'm starting it?) His mind raced as he continued. He sucked in one nipple and massaged the other, making her moan like never before. This egged him on and he kept going, switching breasts and biting lightly down before soothing with his tongue. She arched up and rubbed against his suit he still wore and she felt his hand undo her jeans and pushed them down. He gained enough room to palm her mound and make her whimper for more.  
"Hermosa...perfecto," she groaned at his words, "Va a ser la muerte de amarme." He whispered in her ear.

**********************gray*****************************  
She was on edge now. His lips resting beside her ear, his hand claiming hold to her mound, and his other hand barely holding him above her. He kept up his spanish, everything he said sounded beautiful.  
"Eres un ángel, mi ángel perfecto."  
She batted her eyelashes as he leaned back, "what do you want grayson?"  
"You. I want you rafael."  
"Want do you want from me?" He practically pured.  
"Everything. I want all of you rafael."  
This is what he wanted to hear apparently, as he stood and removed his shirt and pants. He slid his boxers off and climbed above her, his hands to either side of her head. He kissed her lips, very softly. She blacked out and next thing she knew, his hand rested on her side and the other on her stomach. He kissed her stomach before pulling her to the edge of the bed, leaned down and started eating her out. Immediately, her eyes doubled in size and a gaspe escaped her lips, Rafael was always great at oral but this was unbelievable. He made her cum twice just from eating and now his face was soaked from the nose down.

"Rafi..." she practically whispered as sleep was fighting to take over.  
She barely make out the sight of him wiping off his face and licking what he can of it. Then, he bent down to kiss her lips again.  
"Was that good gray?"  
"More."  
"I don't want to over exhaust you.... doctors order."  
She whined, "but rafi..."  
"No." He sighed.  
"Cariño, you need cleaned up. Here..." he picked her up and carried her to the tiny bathroom.  
He turned on the water and adjusted it quickly after laying her in the tub. He wiped her down and washed her hair, before he turned off the water and dryed her off. He slid gray into a nightgown and layed her back in bed. Her eyes fought to stay awake as he covered her back up and kissed her forehead. 

He washed up and put on his dark suit with that stupid purple tie she bought him as a joke. He grabbed his briefcase and walked back to the barely conscious body in the bed.  
"Get some rest love, I'll see you at arraignment." He kissed her softly on the nose before leaving.  
She passed out and dreamed of what her future might hold with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eres un ángel, mi ángel perfecto - you are an angel, my perfect angel  
> Va a ser la muerte de amarme - you will be the death of me love


	10. arraignment

Rafael left gray's apartment and checked his phone. Two missed calls from liv and one from carmen. He then looked at the time, only 20 minutes since the alarm. He usually didn't leave till 40 minutes after so why so many calls? He checked the voicemail, liv had urgent news and wanted him to come to the squad room immediately. Carmen was calling to check in, she received 3 calls from svu and wanted to make sure he was ok. (All three calls were in a 20 minute period...whats so important?)  
"Carmen, I am just calling to check in. Did benson say what she wanted?"  
"No mr. Barba. Just asked me to get ahold of you."  
"Ok, on my way over there now. Let me know if anything happends."  
"Of course. "

Rafael immediately called benson as he got in a cab.  
"What is so important you are trying to fill up my voicemail box?"  
"Good morning to you to barba. I have something you might want to see."  
"Grayson's pedigree?"  
"No but not over the phone. Where are you?"  
"Almost to the precinct, maybe 10 minutes at most."  
"See you soon."  
She hung up and he rolled his eyes. 

He started to put the phone away when his eyes landed on the screen of his phone, a picture ofhim and gray in a horse carriage ride. (It was the 3rd.... no the 5th date. We went out for a couple drinks, bar got crowded and you suggested a walk. In the park you took a spill by the one bridge, I caught you but you twisted the ankle and ripped my tie. It was swollen and purple, like the tie. We were close to the road but you didn't want to leave right away, you thought you could wait out the pain if you got off your feet. I gave in and seen the carriage, I paid for 15minutes and helped you in. You propped the foot up and leaned into my side, I wrapped my arm around you, and you rested your head on my shoulder. You apologized for being clumsy and I shrugged it off and put my tie in my pocket. I paid for another 15 minutes so we could just talk and enjoy it. Before the end of the ride, I pulled my phone out and asked for a picture. Let you adjust your hair even after telling you you look beautiful, then took this picture. You smiled so brightly and leaned into me more. Thats when I knew I was falling hard for you...that I was done for.)

Rafael was jolted out of his memory by the cab slowing, the precinct just outside his door now. He paid the driver and went right up to svu where almost all the squad waited. He sat down the briefcase.  
"Whats so important that..."  
"We finished the pedigrees, nothing important there, but the college surviver she might of... embellished alittle." Rollins adds.  
"By embellished you mean lied?"  
"No, she altered the wording she used. It's just enough to stall a jury." Fin says.  
"What does that mean?"  
"It means she isn't going to take the stand, and if you subpoena her she'll perjur herself."benson finishes, "she isn't willing to go further."  
"So the case is falling apart." Barba sighed, "they're gonna walk."  
"Only if you let it councilor." Nick smirked and barba was thinking about punching him when an officer walked in with a tall messy haired man.

"Excuse me, lieutenant benson. You have a witness here." The officer walked up and the squad turned to look.  
The man smirked, "rafael, good to see you again." He walked over and shooked barbas hand.  
"Mick, glad you could make it."  
"I'd never leave gray hanging," mick smiled, "so what did I need to come here for?"  
"We just have a few more questions to ask." Rollins interrupted.   
"Stop by the bar, first round will be on me man." Mick smiled at rafael who nodded.  
Rollins led him off to a interagation room. Barba excussed himself and headed to court ignoring nicks remarks.

************************gray*******************  
Gray stirred awake, climbed out of bed, and got dressed before carisi knocked. He entered and helped her down the steps, to the car. She promised she'd be there for arraignment, sitting behind rafael being the strong fearless woman he loved. Carisi was talking away at her and everything felt normal until they pulled up to the court house. He helped her up and inside. 

Gray was just inside the door when carisi ran to the restroom, leaving her alone in a court house lobby.  
"Gray. Hey, how you doin?"  
She turned to see nick approaching.   
"I'm doin ok." She smiled.  
"Good, guessing your hear for the arraignment."  
"wouldn't miss it."  
Nick hands her a cup, "don't worry its hot chocolate, I remembered you don't like coffee."  
"Uh...... thanks."  
She blushed big time. Awkward silence surrounding the two of them now...... she should tell him, stop this before it gets to far.   
"You know that..." she was interrupted by sonny.  
"Gray we need to get going or barba will kill me for you being late."  
Shecrolled her eyes and nick stepped in, "barba can wait alittle, he needs taught he ain't god."  
Carisi looked shocked and she tried so hard not to laugh.  
"Rafael isn't god, but I'd hate to make him mad. Besides carisi would be in danger if I was late."  
Nick looked confused and she shrug it off with a smile, "lets go, don't want to miss this."

The three step off the elevator and quickly move over to liv, fin, and rollins.   
"Hey gray, your looking much better." Liv smiled.  
"Fast healer, always have been."  
"We best be heading in while there's still room." Rollins nodded towards the doors and gray took the front row right behing rafael's seat.  
Carisi sat to her left and benson to her right, she stared at the empty chair... where is rafael?

She checked her phone, no messages but she looked at the time... 4 minutes. Rafael is never this late...

************************rafael*******************  
Rafael ran to the court room, rushing in and glancing at gray...  
(She's right there waiting on you. Like she promised.)  
He sat down the briefcase and pulled the file notes out. Glancing back to take note of the fact that the whole squad was there, he straightened his already strait papers. He was beyond nervous, he had to win this case. It was for gray, his love, his chance to protect her his way.

The judge called order and addressed the charges.  
"On the charge of rape in the first, assault, attempted murder, soddemy, and attempted rape...how do you plead?"  
All six men started almost yelling not guilty, the judge demanded the lawyer control his defendants. Buchanan nodded and promptly answered, "not guilty."  
"The people?"  
"Remand your honor, all six are on video attacking and raping a woman. This is also not the first run in with the law for any of them."  
"Your honor, my clients are being falsely accused by the A.D.A.'s girlfriend..."  
Rafael yelled over Buchanan, "your honor!.."  
"Order! Order! Councilors approach. "  
Both men walked forward.  
"Is this true councilor?" The judge asked.  
"Yes." Rafael sighed, "but the D.A..."  
"Assured me you were clear headed. But I will not grant your motion for blocking of this fact."the judge interrupted, "but I will grant the motion to keep the trial whole. The defendants will be tried together for the benefit of the victim."  
Both men nodded.  
"Now please, retire."  
The men retreated back and the judge finished, "the defendants will be held on 50,000 dollar bail each."  
Rafael quickly looked up, "the people also request a protective restraining order through trial."  
"Denied." The judge answered and slammed the gavel. 

The defendants were happy and rafael quickly packed his case file away. Carisi helped her up and out to the hall with the squad as rafael came out.   
"Everyone my office." He motioned them to follow and quickly grabbed the elevator.   
They all made the way to his office and he opened the door before pulling his chair out for gray. She sat knowing better then to refuse his offer when he was this angry.  
"What's wrong councilor?" Benson asked.  
"The judge ruled against my motion to exclude all materials connected to our relationship," he looked at gray as he finished that, "but he also denied the motion to seperate defendants. He is moving forward with the trial."  
She look down at her shoes like she was ten in the Principle's office.   
"So they get to mention your relationship in court, it's awkward but easily dodged." Carisi spoke.  
"Except buchanan plans on claiming she was put up to it by us to convict the gang."  
"We didn't even know you were in a relationship much less that the two gang members on trial were going to be realsed due to witness retraction. " rollins added.  
"Doesn't stop the jury from believing it." Fin finishes.  
"What do you want from us?" Liv asked.  
"You vetted all witnesses? Ran an authentication on the video surveillance?"  
"Of course." Nick spoke up, "no red flags."  
"Then I will build a case, and liv, run a check on the gang members again. See if one of them can be flipped. a confession would make this easier."

The detectives left, so just gray and carisi were left with rafael.  
"Could you give us a moment?" He looked at carisi who quickly stepped out.  
She looked up for the first time since she sat down basically.   
"You ok gray?" His voice went from angry to worried.  
"I'm fine rafi."  
"If at any point, any point at all, you feel sick or scared or anything bad... tell me or if possible leave the courtroom. "  
"The trial hasn't starte..."  
"No but I wouldn't put it past buchanan to bring the media in now. And I...I don't want any extra stress while your pregnant."  
"I love that your protective rafi, I really do. I'm glad you care so much that you check on me every 5 minutes but I can do this. You know me better then anyone else in the world rafael.... you know I WILL do this."  
He knelt down and took her hand and gave her a kiss, "I know. I just want to worry about you before anything else. We planned on moving in together, and we have a third body to start worrying about." He bows his head to her hands gently kissing the knuckles, "We are making a family right now Cariño...I want to worry about that over all."  
"I love you rafael barba." She whisper as she kissed his forehead.  
He leans up to look her in the eyes, "I love you grayson hailey." He kissed her.  
"I love you even though you are turning my work life upside down." He smiled at her giggle.  
"It wouldn't be if you told your coworkers about me before." She wiggled her eyebrow.  
"Well now they do, and I'll have to explain our pregnancy and deal with the jokes."  
"Poor rafi, he's gonna be made fun of cause he has a child on the way." She said in a baby voice.  
He scuffed and she added, "besides I would be more worried about sympathy pregnancy."  
He raised a brow, "what?"  
"It's when the dad-to-be gets symptoms like the mother gets, so when I look like I'm smuggling watermelons and having random cravings. You will have gained weight and have cravings too. Take that harvard, collegeless just schooled you."  
She beamed and he just kissed her passionately but soft, before helping her up.  
"This won't be easy... but I'll be there no matter what. Even if It takes everything I got."  
"And you'll look great with a few extra pounds." She winked as he bit his lip to stop from firing back.  
"Te amo."  
"I love you more."  
"Te quiero hasta el infinito y más allá." He paused, "I love you to infinity and beyond."  
"Now I gotta go watch toy story." She kissed him, "see you when you get home rafi."  
"Be safe gray."

He watched her walk out and sighed.  
(This is gonna be hell. Buchanan is probably already out infront surrounded by press, dragging her through the mud more then before. Pulling your career into this, your past...he is going to destroy you on cross. You will want to kill me before this is over and I will probably write a suicide note so you don't get charged... I HAVE to protect you.)  
He sat at his desk, deep breath, then went to work. He is now the one person who can put the evidence in order, present it, and get her justice. Until this case is done, he is going to be on edge at work and overly sympathetic at home.


	11. like I'm gonna lose you...

Sonny walked gray down to a little Italian place he loved near by for lunch. Afterwards, the two sat in the park watching kids play and feeding the birds.

"Hey, gray... How you doin with everything?"  
"I'm fine sonny." She sighed, "I'm good."  
"You look bothered... Come on bigbird."   
"Are you trying to get me to punch you?"  
"I doubt you could, your shoulder would probably dislocate." He smirked.  
"Fair," she shoved her crutch into his arm, "but I can beat you with my crutch."   
"Great now I can mark getting attacked by a cripple off my bucket list," he laughed, "seriously, what's up."   
"It's nothing."  
"Graaaaaaaaaaayyyyy."

Fine," gray sighed over dramatically, "I had a nightmare the other night about losing Raf. Woke up in a sweat and everything. I told raf it was a nightmare and never explained it. Next thing I know, I get attacked, felt like I was dying and the only thought on my mind was telling raf I love him. No thought of survival, no revenge, no victim thoughts... Just him."   
Sonny nodded, "I knew you two were serious but... Wow."  
"I want more now... I the girl who swore she'd never settle down and all that bullshit. I want to marry him, have kids, buy a house or bigger apartment. I want to take care of little monsters and cook dinner and ask him about his day as I sit drinking a night cap with him. I feel like a alien."  
He laughed, "I think the term is 'in love' gray."   
"What if he doesn't want that?"   
"Why wouldn't he want that?"   
"I don't know... I mean we've dated two years and I'm living here now. He hasn't purposed yet."   
"Then maybe... Maybe you should."   
She glared at him, "this isn't a joke."   
He shook his head and raised his hands up, "not joking gray... You've always been tomboyish since I met you and we both know Barba was issues with public affection have the time... how long did it take for you two to say 'i love you'?"   
"3 months and only when I was flying back to London and he grabbed me before I could board."   
"Maybe, just maybe you should purpose to him then... I mean stranger things have happened."   
She chuckled, "maybe I will."

It was almost 3pm and sonny stood up.   
"back home?" Carisi asked.  
"Yeah but.... can you stop by the apartment so I can pick up my keyboard. I have a song I've put on the back burner for a while and I think I know how to finish it. You know, work is the best way to stop from over thinking. "  
He smiled at her words, "yeah of course."  
They swung by her apartment and he left her alone for 5 minutes at most.

In those 5 minutes she checked her phone for messages and made mental notes to call the studio to sell the song... probably the day after tomorrow. Then it happened, she heard a couple motorcycles race by and turn around surrounding the vehicle. The one pulled a tire iron and bashed in the window. She called 911 and tried to protect herself. Carisi came out running and pulled his gun, they took off and he fired at one that held a gun to the windshield pointed towards her. Shot missed as the man shot out behind them and left the gun on the ground.

Grey went numb, she had just froze... Images flashing through her head. Her few happy days growing up, the worse moments... Then Rafael. Them meeting, every date, every kiss and hug... Each time he said I love you, and every kiss he pulled her into... Every thought of wanting him to be her husband and the idea of kids... Everything hit her.

  
"Gray you ok?"  
She was zoned out, not even noticing sonny opening her door and pulling her phone. He gave his badge number and reported an attack with shots fired. Next he came back to her.  
"Grayson. Grayson! Gray talk to me."  
"I'm fine... I'm fine."  
"What happened?"  
"they surrounded the car and the one busted the window. He reached in to unlock it and another pulled the gun and pointed it at me. I dialed 911 and.... and froze. I just froze. Then you came just in time."  
Her body shook and sonny hugged her, "Hey your safe gray. Your safe."  
"Call rafael please, I want to see rafi..."

Carisi called barba and told him she was attacked, the police was at the crime scence already... mostly processed, and that they were on the way to barba's place with police escort of course. Carisi already called liv and had a protective detail assigned to her, against her will, and that she wanted to see him. He said he was on his way now and hung up.

They arrived at rafael's place just a few minutes later. The protective detail was waiting with Benson. They checked the house then let her enter, benson right behind to take her statement. Carisi went to get her keyboard from the escort vehicle as the protective detail stepped out.

"Are you ok?"  
"I'm fine! Why is everyone always asking me that."  
"You were a victim..."  
"Yes was. I have went through worse and seriously protective detail? I already have carisi helping till the doc clears me to walk without crutches or till this case is done. I don't need two more following me!"  
"I understand that...."  
"No no no, no victim talk. I am tired of this."  
Liv sighed and the door opened, rafael rushed over. He dropped on his knees and quickly looked her over.  
"Grayson are you..."  
"Shut up and hug me." She practically jumped off the couch into his arms.  
He held her and she just hid her face in his neck. He sighed and glanced at liv who shrugged.

"Gray you have to give a statement."  
"Can I please just talk to you alone for a moment.... then I'll give my statement yet again. Please?"  
He nodded and she faintly heard benson step out.

"Gray I.."  
"Shhhhhh.... rafi, I was scared to death. For the first time ever I froze... I froze. I was scared so easily."  
"That happens..."  
"Not to me. Rafi do you know why I froze?"  
She pulled away and looked at him, "you. I froze because of you... I thought of you and the baby and this undeterminable future...I wanted nothing more than to have you with me at that moment because if something happened... I didn't get to say goodbye. In the blink of an eye, I could've lost everything. You could've lost me."  
"Hey I'm right here and I am holding you... your fine and I'm fine. Gray we're good, we still have each other. "  
She kiss him, and a tear slid down her cheek.  
"Cariño, why are you crying?" He wiped her tear, "I told you everything is OK."  
"Cause I love you rafi."  
"I love you gray."

Gray agreed to give the statement and tell liv what happened. Afterwards liv left and carisi said goodbye, the security detail sat outside. She sat on the couch while rafael sat at the desk. It was only 5pm and it was weird having rafael home. He was working on the case, constantly and she was getting bored. She started playing with the keyboard, simple little tunes. Rafael's face was in the book and dictating notes he never made a move to look at her.

**************rafael***********  
Rafael heard her playing, elementary level tunes and smiled internally. He never looked up, just listened as she played. He could feel her eyes looking over constantly try to get a rise... after their heart to heart earlier he felt bad having to work but the case starts tomorrow. Jury selection, pre hearing motions.... it was a requirement to have these notes done, so he could do his best for her. But he feels guilty working at his desk that was facing the couch she laid on, felt guilty not giving her attention. He smirked into his notes when he heard the tune change to something he didn't know. Then she started singing.

"I found myself dreaming, In silver and gold, Like a scene from a movie, That every broken heart knows, we were walking on moonlight, And you pulled me close, Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone." Rafael stopped writing, "I woke up in tears, With you by my side, A breath of relief, And I realized...No, we're not promised tomorrow..."  
He looked up at her as she continued.  
"So I'm gonna love you. Like I'm gonna lose you. I'm gonna hold you, Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing. I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when...When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you, Like I'm gonna lose you, I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you."  
He stared at her completely mesmerized.  
"In the blink of an eye...Just a whisper of smoke. You could lose everything. The truth is you never know. So I'll kiss you longer baby, Any chance that I get. I'll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets. Let's take our time, To say what we want. Use what we got, Before it's all gone. 'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow."  
She stopped and looked up at him.  
"Please don't stop..." he smiled.  
"So I'm gonna love you, Like I'm gonna lose you, I'm gonna hold you, Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing, I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when, When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you, Like I'm gonna lose you. I'm gonna love you, like I'm gonna lose you..."

"When did you write that?" Rafael stood and walked over.  
"The first part.... about 2 weeks ago. The night I had a nightmare, I said it was something else but truth was.... I dreamt I lost you. The second part was right after my attack, when you told me about the threats. But the chorus was written in my head on the drive here."  
"Cariño, I love you. And I know this is pointless because I can't promise this but... nothing will happen to me or you. I'm not gonna lose you."  
She started crying as he sat on the edge of the couch, "I'm tired of hiding everything about me because of my past. I was a victim since the moment I was born basically. Now I work under a sir name, which I will lose the privacy of that during trial. I hide my relationship from everyone except my closest friends... which I only have two friends so."  
"Mi amor, then let's not. Let Buchanan release your alias, let your past be reviled, we'll stop hiding this relationship and we'll tell everyone about the newest barba." He kissed her, "is that what you want?" He brushed her hair outta her face.  
"Yes... that is what I want."

**************Gray**********  
He went back to work at the desk while gray watched Hannibal, he made a comment about watching a demented show and she stuck her tongue out at him. He continued for a while until he yawned, she caught him.  
"Rafi... if your tired you should sleep."  
"I'm working on your case... I need these notes done so I can get you justice."  
"And I need you alive and most importantly, you need to be awake and able to think clearly. Sleep is what you need."  
He smiled, "ok... let me finish this page and then I only have two left I can do tomorrow around court and the squadroom."  
"Deal, I'm gonna go change for bed." He frowned and she looked at him confused, "what?"  
"Just wait. I will help you change."  
She smiled, "will I actually have clothes on after you help me?"  
"Yes...your to injured for that."  
"Am I?"  
He rolled his eyes, "yes you are."  
"Then what was this morning?"  
"A bad idea."  
"Come on rafi!"  
He shook his head and she took her shot. Grabbing the piano and starting  to play one of her favorites.

"Ooh I got a body full of liquor With a cocaine kicker And I'm feeling like I'm thirty feet tall....So lay it down, lay it down. You got your legs up in the sky With the devil in your eyes, Let me hear you say you want it all. Say it now, say it now."  
He looked at her unamused.  
"Look what you're doing, look what you've done... But in this jungle you can't run, 'Cause what I got for you, I promise it's a killer, You'll be banging on my chest. Bang bang, gorilla...."  
He looked back to the paper trying to ignore her.  
"Ooh, yeah...You and me baby making love like gorillas..... Ooh, yeah... you and me baby making love like gorillas..."  
He sighed.  
"Yeah, I got a fistful of your hair, But you don't look like you're scared. You just smile and tell me, "Daddy, it's yours."..."  
He looked up interested and she smiled as she sang the last bit.  
"'Cause you know how I like it, You's a dirty little lover..."  
He stood up and walked over to her, lifting her in his arms.  
"What are you doin councilor?"  
"Giving you what you want."

He carried her to his bed and laid her down kissing every inch as he removes her clothes. Off goes the shirt, bra, pants, and underware... he stood and stripped out of his suit, all the way to his birthday suit. She blushed as he climbed back up her and kiseed her a little rougher then usual. She paused a moment as she felt his hard length against herr inner thigh.  
He pulled back and looked at her, "are you ok gray?"  
"Yeah...fine... don't stop."  
"Gray.... if you don't want this I can stop. Just tell me." He looked truely concerned.  
"No I want this.... but thank you for caring enough to offer." She kissed him as he positioned himself.  
He pushed her thighs apart gently, making sure her braced ankle is in a comfortable spot. He traced each scar, that he had permanently engraved in his head, over the wrappings. He leaned down and kissed her neck, causing her to let out a moan. She barely registered his dick at her entrance.  
"are you sure?"  
"Yes."  
He pushed in and she gasped, "tell me if you want to stop, at any point. Understand grayson?"  
"Yes papi."

Rafael smirked as he started moving inside grayson, soft gental thrusts, making her skin crawl. He went back to kissing her neck, his hand now roaming up to her chest. She was in heaven, her body was electrified. Gray wanted this since the assault, to feel rafael inside her, to have him reclaim her as his. She knew it didn't make sense but, she needed it. It made everything feel like normal. Shevdragged her nails down his back and he smiled into her skin before he lightly bit down on her shoulder, pushing gray over the edge and dragging him over as well. He pulled out and headed for the bathroom.

Rafael disappeared from sight and a few minutes later returned to carry gray to the bathroom. He lowered her into the tub and then slid behind her, his foot turning off the water so they can both soak. He kissed the top of her head.  
"Was that what you've been begging for cariño?"  
"Yes mi amor" her eyes fluttered.  
"Tired love?"  
"In your dreams..."  
He laughed before squeezing her waist a little tighter, "if you don't mind... why have you been pushing for my love making so much lately?"  
"It's silly."  
"Please Cariño."  
"You'll think its stupid..."  
"I would never think that of anything you say," he losened his grip and she slid down just enough to comfortably rest her head on his chest.  
"I wanted you to reclaim me... to make me feel whole again. I know you won't understand but, I had this weird itch feeling. I know it was in my mind but I just knew this would stop it." She tried to tuck her head away from his.  
He chuckled and she felt his chest reverberate, "Cariño, I understand. It's not something a... uhm..."  
Gray squeezed his arm and nodded into his chest to let him know she understood.  
"I'm just glad your ok gray.... you and my little miniatura tú. "  
"Miniatutura? Did you just say a miniature me?"  
"Yes. A perfect miniature you."  
"Why not a mini-rafael. A palm sized you."  
"Cause I was a horrible child," he shook his head, "It would drive you insane."  
"And a mini me would be fine? We would be in a constant state of annoyance and disbelief. He would have a hospital on speed dial rafi."  
"We were both horrible children.... maybe a mixture of both of us would be better. Though I would be saddened if he or she didn't get your eyes... I love the broken gray and blue mixture."  
"No, they will have your green ones."  
"Never!"  
She laughed as she tried to splash his face, but ended up almost kicking the spout instead.

"Mi hermosa sirena, don't hurt yourself more." He snickered.  
"I love you rafi..."  
"I love you too gray..." he rubbed her belly, "and you little one."  
She smiled and interlaced their fingers, "3 weeks and we are already pushing him or her to be better than us."  
"Because we're new parents Cariño... well parents to be."  
"Waf-fee....can we go to bed now? I'm sleepy love."  
"Of course Cariño," he kissed her before slowly getting out of the tub.

He wrapped a towel around his waist, grabbed a towel for her and pulled her out and dried off. He rewrapped her wounds and carried her to bed. Laying gray down, and then laying beside her. He pulled her close and kissed her cheek before she rolled into him, his chest her pillow.  
"Hey waf-fee?"  
"Yes Cariño?"  
"I have a doctor visit tomorrow.... 12:30. It's just a quick work up to ensure the baby is ok and that there is no complications due to the attacks."  
"I'll be there."  
"If you have cour...."  
"I will be there. Court isn't till 2 and I can slip out of the squad easy enough."  
"Thank you waf-fee... I love you."  
"Love you more Cariño... good night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mi hermosa sirena - my beautiful mermaid  
>  miniatura tú - miniature you


	12. looks aren't everything

Rafael woke to his alarm and rushed to get ready while gray was still out cold. He kissed her forehead and rushed off to work. Court room till 10:45, then to the squad. He walked in and immediately regretted it.  
"Councilor, little late aren't we." Rollin looked up.  
"Can't control court time. What have we found?"   
"Nothing." Fin sighed, "not a thing."  
"On which part?"  
"All of it. No video, no witnesses, no prints...nothing but grays and carisi's word." Benson walked out, "hows gray?"  
"She's gray," he shook his head, "never can tell how she's doing."  
Liv patted his shoulder, "ok then. But we did get a hit on one gang member, New to this gang but he only has one prior... a theft charge under bx9. He help steal a car....got thrown under the bus by the rest of the gang. From what I read, this is a leap or ten from what he has on prior."  
"Question him with his lawyer of course, see if he'll flip. I can manage a deal."

The team nods and sets about their work. Rafael looks at the clock and takes a mental note before making calls to secure a deal worth offering. He keeps his eye on the time....(I won't be late, I won't be late, Puedo hacer esto.) He kept repeating in his mind. At noon he had been in the office with liv discussing the case when gray and carisi limp in.

**************gray***************  
"Hey everybody" gray smiled as carisi pulled out the chair and she dropped in it.  
Rollins said hi, fin nodded and smiled, and nick looked curiously at her.  
"Where's barba?" Carisi asked looking around.  
"Office with Benson."fin pointed, "I'm getting some coffee. Want some?"  
"Yeah I'll help," carisi walked with fin and rollins went to take a private call.   
This left gray and nick alone at the desks, he kept glancing and she rolled her eyes.

"Just ask."  
"You and barba?"  
"Yup."  
"thats why you didn't answer my advances."  
"Yeah, it's committed."  
"What do you see in him?"  
"More then most people. If you really knew him you'd understand."  
"You guys seem alittle.... age difference."  
"Not that much really, and the comments don't bother me either."  
Nick nodded and was about to say something else when the group returned and the office door opened.

"Gray.... why are you here?" Rafael asked as he came over.  
"Didn't want you to forget. Thought we might get some lunch too."  
Rafael smiled and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "absolutely, I have the time now. Can't have you hungry, can we?"   
Carisi gave a funny look as she gave rafi the 'you said to much' look and laughed at his reddening face.  
"What does that mean?" Carisi looked at him and gray just laughed.  
"Rafael tell them or I will." She chuckled out, "they'll hear it at trial anyways."  
Rafi nodded and looked at gray, "grayson and I are...we're having....having a baby."  
The squad looked shocked and carisi hugged her, "my grayson is having a baby!"  
"Mazel tov barba, and gray." Fin smiled.  
"Congrats you two." Rollins came over for a hug.  
"Congratulations." Liv smiled and patted barba's shoulder.  
"Congrats."nick gave a little smile, still looking awkward.  
"Thanks. But now I really am getting hungry." She smiled, blushing just a little.  
"Then lets get you some food." Rafael helped her up, "keep me updated."  
Liv nodded and carisi and barba helped her down. Once outside carisi said he was going on break to give them privacy and rafael helped her in the protective detail suv.

"So how is your day rafi?"gray winced as she repositioned.  
"Long."  
"It's not even noon."  
"So it'll only get longer." She frowned at his words, he seen, "I'm fine gray. Hows your day?"  
"Just woke up basically..."she blushed.  
"Thats good. You need your rest." He kissed her forehead while chuckling at her face.  
They finally arrived at the restaurant and rafi helped her in. The waiter seemed less then amused at working, let alone waiting on a crippled that looked almost homeless.

Rafi looked angry at the treatment she was receiving but she told him to brush it off. Looking around, she noticed The security detail took a separate table just a couple tables from her booth. (I know I look kinda homeless cause I didn't even try to look decent. I mean sweatpants, rock tshirt, and a beanie to hide your hair.... you could sit on the street and collect change without a sign.) Rafi still looked angry but was trying to look normal.  
"What is taking so long?"  
"Rafi its only been 10 minutes. Stop being a dick."  
"A dick? No more like..."  
"No a dick. Let's face it, I look homeless dressed like this, with all this bruising and on crutches. We are at a higher end restaurant and I look outta place."  
"That doesn't mean you deserve this treatment. " he sighed, "looks aren't everything grayson."  
"I'm fine rafi, just calm down. I can take care of myself."  
"Of course Cariño, I know you can." He squeezed her hand.  
"Those desserts look good.... really good."  
He chuckled," after the food Cariño, I promise we'll get you something sweet."  
Her blush was the prettiest shade of red as he kissed her cheek.

The food arrived shortly after, not quite what she ordered but she still ate it without a complain. He noticed her brushing off the mistake and let it slide. Thry talked about anything that came to mind as they ate and then he noticed the time. He left money on the table and promised her a sweet after the appointment before he headed to court. The detail lagged behind alittle but they finally made it to the suv and got her to the appointment just on time.

Gray walked into the gynecologist office and sat down as rafael signed her in. She noticed the stares and focused on her slip-on shoes. As rafael walked back he noticed the stares as well, sitting beside her and sighing at her shyness.  
"People stare at us all the time Cariño...this shouldn't be different." He whispered in her ear.  
Gray shook her head slowly, "it's just... weird. It looks like a abuse case sitting at a gynecological office, it's not the gold digger/sugar daddy looks I'm use to."  
"Since when do you let people change your perspective?"  
"Since I look like the gold digger that got pregnant and thrown under the bus."  
"Cariño..." he lifted her face up to see his, "that's not what this is and please... please stop thinking like that. Looks aren't everything cariño."  
"I love you rafi," she leaned over just enough to rest her head on his shoulder.  
"I love you too gray." He kissed her forehead.

The rest of the time went quickly but still awkward. She was called back and explained the situation, they did full work up. Sne left after being told they'll be notified when the results get back. Rafi helped her to the suv and he spoke to one of the details before he got in. She got curious but he just told her "it's a surprise." They pulled up to a small diner by the park a couple blocks from the courts.  
"What are we doing here?"  
"I promised you sweets, they have the best pie."  
"Pie!" Gray perked up.  
He laughed helping her out and in the small diner. He got two slices of pie, one a' la mode, and a coffee. She caught him checking the time, and couldn't hold back the sigh.  
"Go rafi."  
"I promised...."  
"You bought me pie, that fulfilled your promise. Call carisi and tell him to pick me up, I wait here."  
He smiled, "I love you cariño." He kissed her pie smeared lips, "heres twenty, get another slice on me ok."  
"Si. Gracias chica." She smiled and he chuckled before leaving after one more kiss to her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Puedo hacer esto - I can do this


	13. business as usual

Carisi arrived 15 minutes later and took gray back to her place so she can change. She had set up a meeting with the recording company to sell two new songs. The whole time carisi asked questions.  
"How far along?"  
"3 weeks,right when I got back from london."  
"When did you find out? How long have you been hiding this?"  
"Right after the attack. The doctors told rafi while I was still out."  
"To soon to tell gender?"  
"The appointment was for a work up to tell the rest."  
"My grayson is pregnant!"  
She chuckled and stepped out. Skinny jeans, converses, flowy blouse, and hair pinned back to look more professional. She slipped on a pair of sunglasses. "How do I look sonny? Professional enough?"  
"Beautiful. Those headhunters won't know what's coming."  
She smiled and he helped her out and to the meeting. 

***************rafael**************  
Rafael sat at a precourt hearing with buchanan. Calling the current conversation bickering was a understatement, the were almost yelling back in forth. Buchanan called it negligent to be prosecuting a case of a loved one and barba told him it was inhumane to let people attack each other like his clients did. Then buchanan pushed to far, he called barba out saying he was only concerned because his clients had sex with his pregnant girlfriend. Rafael was pushing the thought of murder out of his mind as he started to yell back and the judge intervened.  
"That is enough! Councilor that is out of order, and if that is your defense... approach it in a respectable way. I will not have insults and slut shaming aimed at the victim in my courtroom. As for you mr. Barba, your actions are admirable but I will miss trial if you lose your level head. The evidence is allowed in and the trial will start tomorrow. We are finished here."

The judge left and buchanan smiled, "we should plea this out now. Save your girlfriend from the pain and stress of trial. I mean she is pregnant..."  
"Stop right there... the D.A.'s office made a deal and your clients refused. And off the record, keep her name out of your mouth outside of this case. I know you'll smear here name but don't you dare think I won't find a way to knock you down. Your very top heavy."  
"Is that a threat from the A.D.A.?"  
Barba flared his nostrils and grabbed the briefcase to leave.  
"We both know what happened." Buchanan adds with a solemn face.  
"And yet you defend them to line your pockets." With that barba exited and went straight to the squad room.

Raf called gray to check in, straight to voice mail. Taking a deep breath he promises himself it's nothing.... but he still called carisi.  
"hello councilor."  
"Are you with gray?"  
"Yes."  
"Can I speak to her?"  
"Uh....Not right now..."  
"Why?"  
"She is busy."  
"Busy?"  
"Yes."  
"Busy with what?"  
"I can not say."  
"Carisi..."  
"She made me promise not to tell."  
"Really?"  
"Yes, you know how gray is."  
He sighed "Fine... just tell her I called."  
"Will do."  
Barba hung up and went straight to the squad room.  
(I need to talk to liv. Maybe she can explain why the hell I'm going crazy like this?)

***************gray******************  
The meeting ended and gray was happy, she limped out to carisi and told him the good news. Carisi gave her a hug and told her barba was checking in. Deciding it was best if she text him while carisi drove them to the squad room. Theh both needed to give recorded statements and do a quick photo array. The detail drove her over while she texted.

Y [Hey cutie. Sorry I missed your check up.]  
R [just making sure you were ok.]  
Y [I love when you get concerned about me. But no I'm fine.]  
R [that's good. Are you heading to the squad room for the statement?]  
Y [yes, me and carisi are on our way. R you there?]  
R [yes.]  
Y [good... I got some news. Can't wait to tell you!]  
R [?]

Gray left it there as carisi spoke up, "so you and barba.... where are you plannig to go?"  
"What?"  
"You know... baby on way and all. Do you plan on moving in together? Marriage? More kids?"  
"You are putting to much thought into this sonny."  
"Come on gray! I know you. I know you want more in life. Now you have a baby growing inside you. I think it would be the perfect time."  
"I'm not talking to you about this sonny... that is between me and rafael until further notice."  
"Fine... but you know you can talk to me. I got you gray. Anything you need." He hugged her as the suv pulled up to the precinct.


	14. créeme

Carisi got gray out and up to the svu floor. She limped up to the main entry point before she seen rollins witha chair.  
"Sit down gray, well just push you around." Her smile was huge.  
"Thanks. Just don't topple me over."  
"I promise I won't, just don't trust the guys to."   
Fin and carisi looked hurt and nick shook his head, "one time we pull your chair out from behind you and you'll never let it be."  
"Nope" she laughed and pushed gray to carisi's desk.  
Everyone laughed and then barba and benson walked out of the office.

"Glad you could make it," rafi kissed grays head, "we'll start with a photo array while carisi gives a statement. "  
She nodded as he sat down beside her in carisi's chair, "so while they get the photos, what was the news Cariño?"  
"I sold two songs today. They love the recordings so much they put a bonus on the first check."  
"That's great gray. What new ones?"  
"Unsteady which you haven't heard, and like I'm gonna lose you."  
"The one you sang last night?"  
"Yes. They want it as a duet. Infact they asked me to do a studio session with the duet partners. They have two in mind and just need their approval."  
"Thats great." He smiled at her.  
"One more thing.... I put a note on the writers bar. 'For Grayson and Rafael'."  
He tipped his head to the side.  
"Basically on the cd and single release, it will have my alias and that note. Companys usually don't allow that from writers, only artist."  
"So it is a physical note attached to the song... a dedication to me and you."  
"Yes... what do you think?"  
"I think that...that is amazing. You dedicated the writing of a song to us."  
"Love you rafi."  
"Love you Cariño."

Fin returned with a book of mugshots and gray fliped through. She picked out two from the group, the one that broke the window and the one with the gun pointed at her. The other faces blurred and she was no help. Shortly after, carisi came out to look at photos and rollins pushed her into a intaragation room for her record statement. She told everything she remembered.

***********rafael********  
Rafael stood in bensons office watching gray give her statement on camera to rollins. Carisi walked in and walked right over to put a hand on his shoulder, after flipping the switch to silence the speaker.  
"She's ok, you know she is."  
"I know."  
"Your just extremely over protective. "  
"Your pushing it now."  
"She is working through it, she really is. You just have to let her go until she says she needs help."  
"She never asks for help."  
"She does, when she really needs it. Your babying isn't making her heal quicker."  
"I'm not babying her." Rafael almost grumbled.   
"You have me watching her all day and then you come home and... I know you do everything for her."  
Rafael went to speak but stopped.  
"Gray told me. She mentioned you wait on her hand and foot... carried her most of the time too."  
His face tinged red. (I did carry her most that night. The only thing I didn't help with was the song writing...and her teasing. I really did do alot for her...)  
"She loves your protectiveness but the babying, it's not gonna get her healed quicker."  
"I get it carisi. Stop talking."  
"Do you?" Carisi pushed, "cause right now you seemed to compermised with the case when working."  
Rafi walked over and shut the door, "I get it. I am doing this because it's my fault. I did this to her."  
"You di..."  
"I did. My working on this case. My moves in the courtroom. They targeted her because of me. They seen her talking to me at the courthouse, followed her, and I couldn't stop it."  
"You can't know that for sure."  
"They said 'the D.A. wont be fucking with the kings no more.' Carisi, it was all my fault."  
"she'll deny that until she dies. You can't blame yourself when you didn't even know it would happen."  
He nodded, took a deep breath and walked out to squad room with carisi in tow.  
(He's right. He's right. You know she doesn't blame you, so why blame yourself?)

Rafael stopped by the white board and looked at the orginal attack laid out. Looking at the info underneath and studying each detail as he leaned on nicks desk. Carisi smirked and fin just shook his head as nick walked in, "councilor, don't you have your own desk?"  
"Yes. In a private office that is much nicer and a lot less cluttered, but its there and I'm here. Any new information?"  
"Nope. The new guy won't roll and we only have their statements for the other assult. "Fin said nodding to Carisi.  
"DNA, gun trace, anything?"  
"We are running the blood found on the window and the gun is a deadend." Nick rolled his eyes as he sat in his chair.  
"Nothing else?"  
"No councilor. Nothing." Nick finished.  
"So one case that has to much evidence and one with none." Barba wiped his face with his open hand, "fun, fun, fun."

***********gray**********  
Rollins rolled gray out and stopped her at carisi's desk, "ok here we go, Councilor."  
She nodded at barba before running off to grab liv from a talk with Dodds.   
"Anything else?" Gray looked up and nick adds, "liv said to wait if you don't mind. Dodds had a request or something."  
"That sounds good" carisi said dripping with sarcasm.   
"It'll be fine," barba spoke not looking over, "Crèeme."  
Nick looked up at barba before benson walked over with dodds, "and you must be Miss Hailey."  
Gray looked at dodds a little off put, "and you are...?"  
"Chief William dodds." He stretched his hand out to her.  
She shook it and fake smiled, "pleasure to meet you."  
"So you are our victim. The woman attacked by six men."  
She seen rafael tighten his demeanor, almost wanting to attack Dodds... he must know where this is going. She nod yes.  
"Well, your case is a little thin. We have video and witness testimony but its a hell Mary."   
She flinched (did he seriously say hell mary? Does he want this case dropped?) She almost glared right then.  
"Luckly you have a strong A.D.A. on the case. Backed by the D.A. with connections." He smiled and just walked away.

Gray looked at rafael knowing he is pissed, " No es un fan Deduzco?"  
Both nick and rafael chuckled.  
"No he wants the case moved, he thinks it's unwinnable. " rafael turned towards her, " you ok cariño?"  
"Yes. A little creeped out but yes."  
He walked over and kissed her head, "good. Now just take it easy for the rest of today."  
He helped her up and carisk helped her out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crèeme - trust me  
> No es un fan Deduzco - not a fan I gather


	15. we should talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a day yay!!!

The drive back to rafi's place was quick. Gray and carisi both watched tv until he decided to make supper. Spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread, and he made the vodka tomato sauce she loved. She waited so impatiently for food. Sonny kept saying it was almost ready and she groaned. Looking at the clock and frowned, almost 7.... where was rafi?

**************rafael*************  
Rafael was stepping out of the cab and walked to his apartment, the whole way trying to figure out how she can do thi so easily with crutches. He unlocked his door and stepped in to see her half off the couch groaning.   
"Grayson!" He ran over and she jumped a little.   
"I'm fine rafi."  
"You were laying half off the couch."  
"Cause I had a itch," she motioned to her back and he sighed.   
"Cariño, let me." He pushed her back up on the couch and scratched her back for her as carisi slowly walked in.  
"Dinner is served," he smiled at the sight and rafi rolled his eyes.  
Rafi helped her up and into the kitchen where two plates were set up at the table.  
"Only two plates?" Gray asked as rafi helped her sit down.   
"My gift to you two. Call it a date night and just leave work at work. Enjoy and I'll just be leaving." Carisi hugged gray and nodded to rafi before leaving the apartment. 

Grayson and rafael sat eating and enjoying the meal, obviously trying to avoid the conversation they should have. He caved and had to start.  
"So carisi talked to me today."  
"Oh no." She looked down at the plate.  
"He said I was babying you." Rafi frowned.  
"You are alittle but, I kinda love it." She looked up, "you know, its nice. Except when you don't stop after beg you to.... that's when it gets annoying."  
"Lo siento... I'm just worried."  
"I know.... trust me I know." She caught his gaze, "I am too."  
A silent moment passed before he heard her grumbled, "fucking carisi telling our private conversations."  
Laughter rang out before it got serious again.  
"Rafi?"  
"Yes gray."  
"Me and carisi had a talk today.... well more of he asked questions and I didn't answer," rafi smiled at her words, "but he had some good ones. Some that I think we should discuss."  
"Like what cariño?"  
"We have a baby on the way so... are we moving in together or finding a place? I know we discussed this before but.."  
"We should find a place. I was thinking a townhouse maybe, something close to work but bigger then my place."  
"That sounds good, what about do we want more kids? I mean should I look for a three or four bedroom apartment. I mean not immediately but adventually."  
"Cariño, I always wanted a son and daughter, But honestly I never thought further then that."  
"Well.... what about... marriage?" She fidgeted.   
"Do you want that?"  
"I don't know...."  
"Cariño, to be completely honest... I don't want to push you but, I always imagined being married with two or three kids. But I don't want to make you do anything..."  
"Rafi I want that. Since I was young with my horrible childhood I wanted a normal apple pie life. I wanted kids and a husband. I just imagined it be slightly different then this."  
"I know but, this is our life. I love you and this whole mess that is our lives... cause I know it will get better."  
"I don't want you to purpose because we both want marriage and I'm pregnant... I want you to do it when it feels right. So please don't go getting a ring just because of our baby."  
"Cariño por favor, I would never do it if I didn't mean it..."  
"I just.... I never thought this would happen like it did."   
She teared up and rafi ran over, "shhhhhhh, it's ok cariño, it's ok..... we can get through this.... shhhh."

They both turned in soon after, curled up into each other and sleeping peacefully.


	16. the calm before the storm

The next couple days were blurred. Court hearings, case precedings, meetings, constant prep...all about gray.... rafael was going mad. The only thing keeping him from breaking was her... his grayson. Coming home to her, sleeping beside her, holding her, listening to her laugh and watching her blush and smile at his words. She had a serious discussion a few days ago and he was ready. She said she wanted marriage and he already had the ring before she got attacked. He started replanning the proposal again but it just didn't feel right.

He was on the second day of trial regarding her original attack, rafael put gray as the last witness hoping to make it less stressful. He had the rap kit nurse, M.E., bartender, along with fin and rollins taking the stand before her. The defense was calling Carisi, mick, and a seperate medical expert to the stand. The rape kit, injury photos, and security footage was submitted as well. The media was all over the case already, gray was in headlines. All he wanted was to keep her away from it.

For the past two days, barba and the detectives escorted her up the steps to keep the media back and to his office. He was insistent that she act as a normal witness and stay out of the court until her questioning and the verdict. He set her up in his office and had a guard ready to escort her down to take the stand when needed. Two days she sat in there bored out of her mind, rafi promising it would be done soon and they would both be good again. 

Gray had healed up well. Her bruises were mostly gone, the cuts healed or scarring, and the scars were less atrocious. Her arm was unwrapped and she was moved to a simpler brace for her ankle and could walk a little without crutches. The black eye was gone and the cut cheek was fairly healed, the only worrying part was her ribs. They were still wrapped but the doctor check up said they were healing good but she needed to watch it, especially with the stiches through there. But hey, she was looking and feeling better, this was just her chance to show she is a fighter, show she was stronger then she looked.

*********gray*************  
It was just past noon when gray's phone rang, the gynecologist. Results are back and he wants to see both of them as soon as possible, no details. She got worried, especially since she got the morning sickness started. It was just short of 4 weeks and something felt off. She brushed off the scared feeling and went to find a book to skim, figuring they should be taking lunch soon.

Gray had just opened a book off his bookcase and leaned back in his chair, getting fairly comfy when his door opened and he walked in with benson.  
"Cariño, how you doing?"  
"Fine rafael, how was court."  
"Lousy... fin and rollins were blindsided on cross and your up after lunch. I have a hour before you take the stand and I have to watch the defense try to rip you apart."  
Liv frowned and gray sat up, "I'll be fine. You know i will."  
"Still," he watched her closely and smiled, "how about some food? What sounds good."  
"Anything really. But I do need to talk to you alone real quick."  
He nodded and liv walked out, gray looked down and rafi got worried.   
"Cariño, what's wrong?"  
"Nothing that I know... its just, the doctor called and got the results back. He wants to see us as soon as possible."  
"He didn't say anything else?"  
"No... I just got worried and..." she teared up a little.  
"Shhhhh... Cariño, it's ok. It's ok." He hugged her in his chair and kiseed her forehead. 

After calming gray down he ordered a sub to split, and they both ate while liv talked the second attack. They had a understanding on the warrants and she would carry them out after court. She left and they finished before he straightened up and she fixed his tie. He told her to head down in 8 minutes and the court room should be in progress. She waited and then limped down with a guard. Waiting outside the door until the court hand opens the door and escorts her to the stand.


	17. the perfect storm part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grayson finally takes the stand as everything goes wrong.

Grayson approaches the stand and got sworn In and adjust so she can sit fairly comfy with her crutches to the side.

Rafael straightens his posture and walked towards her, "miss Hailey, may I call you grayson?"  
"Yes."  
"Grayson, do you know why you are here?"  
"Yes."  
"And can you tell the jury why?"  
"I was beaten and raped by six men."  
"Can you tell them what occurred on that day?"  
"I was walking home from work, I decided to take a alley 5 blocks to save time. While I was walking I felt like I was being followed and in a reflection seen two men following me."  
"Can you point out these men?"  
She point to two of the defendants.  
"and what happened next?"  
"I kept moving and before I could make it to a street, one was walking towards me."  
"Can you point him out in this court room?"  
She point to him.  
"Then what happened?"  
"Before I could process what was happening, three more came from a side alley and attacked me."  
"Can you please describe in detail the attack?"  
"They shoved me to the ground. One pinned my arms and another pinned my legs, then one sat on top of me. He pulled a knife and started to cut my shirt when I was able to get enough leverage to fight back." She took a deep breath and closed your eyes.  
"Are you ok grayson? Do you need some water?" She could actually hear the worrying in his voice.  
"No I'm fine."  
"Then precede please."  
"I twisted my arms and pushed the one pinning my arms off and brought my knee up kicking the one on top of me in the... crotch area. I rolled to the side and preceded to fight them off as best I could. I don't remember most of it after that, it's a blurry memory."  
"Is there any other part you can remember?"  
"Yes. I remember being pinned down again while bleeding heavily. I blacked out after I felt the first one start to enter."  
"You woke up before the hospital... do you remember that?"  
"Yes, I heard yelling and one of them said, 'the D.A. won't be fucking with the kings no more.' Then a man ran up and covered my body and tried to keep me awake as he yelled for help. He ended up running back into the bar and calling 911."  
"Thank you grayson, the prosecution rests."  
He nodded at her and gave a reassuring smile before sitting back down.

Buchanan stood up and approached, "miss Hailey, may I call you grayson?"  
"Yes."  
"Are you currently in a relationship?"  
"Yes."  
"Is said person in this room?"  
"Objection." Rafael stood.  
"Rephrase," buchanan nods, "how close are you and the A.D.A. Rafael Barba?"  
"Objection." Rafael says again.

"Please approach the bench councilors." The judge almost sighed, "I have already ruled this allowable Mr. Barba but with a dignified manner Mr. Buchanan."  
Both men looked at each other, "yes your honor."  
Rafael sat back down and buchanan started again.

"How well do you know Mr. Barba?"  
"He is my boyfriend." Gray sighed shaking a little.  
"Your boyfriend is prosecuting this case?"  
Rafael stood to object when the judge speaks, "Mr. Buchanan. The jury will disregard his last question."  
"Sorry your honor. Grayson, this isn't your first rape accusation is it?"  
"Objection!"rafael almost yelled.  
"Overruled"  
"Rephrase your honor, Grayson, have you ever accused anyone of rape before?"  
"No."  
"Were you ever a prostitute?"  
Rafael looked up with a clenched jaw, "objection!"  
"It goes to motive your honor."  
The judge looked curiously, "get to the point councilor."  
"Were you ever a prostitute?"  
"No."  
"Did you ever trade sex for money or favors? And may I remind you, you are under oath."  
"Against my will." She almost wanted to growl.  
"Permission to treat witness as hostile?"  
"Objection!"

"Approach the bench." The councilors approached, the judge looked over to buchanan, "where is this going?"  
"I have evidence that the witness has been a prostitute."  
"She was under age and forced by her mother."  
"She has charges for it."  
"Not on record, and not in evidence."  
"I would like to move to have it put into evidence, along with 5 more documents and add a witness."  
Rafael was shocked and the judge as well, "my chambers now."  
The judge announced a brief recess and dismissed the courtroom.

*************rafael************  
Rafael entered the judges chamber and immediately glares at buchanan, "your sandbagging me!"  
"We just found a character witness and documentation to back her story."  
"Right before you start your witnesses sure."  
The judge stopped the argument, "what is the new evidence?"  
"5 acceptance letters and a court file from the victims home town. The witness is one Jenna Lorraine, the victims mother."  
"Excuse me?!" Rafael was shocked.  
"I will allow it... But I am granting a 2 hour recess for the prosecution to view the new evidence. Now councilors, stay respectful in my court room."  
With that the two were dismissed and barba pushed down the hall to find gray.

*********Grayson*************  
The short recess was given and Grayson walked out to the hallway where carisi was.  
"You look green, you ok gray?"  
"I'm fine sonny." She smiled and the detectives walked up.  
"Your doing good grayson." Liv reassured her as the rest talked about buchanan's over the top moves. She stood there with them waiting for rafi to come back when it happened.

"Well look at the mess you got yourself into now girl."  
Grayson's eyes went wide, that voice haunted her nightmares.  
Gray turned slowly as liv stepped in, "ma'am please..."  
"This is despicable you little slut, you claiming rape again!" She moved towards her and nick and fin moved up to keep her back.  
Carisi pulled gray back while liv and rollins tried to quiet the screaming lady. Gray was froze, body and all as rafael turned the corner with buchanan to find the altercation. He ran to gray and stepped infront of her view pulling her in as two guards grabbed the woman.  
"Just because you found yourself a pretty little mexican you have to call rape when you get caught working?!"  
"Please let me take my witness for prep, this way miss Lorraine." Buchanan almost smiled as he guided the once screaming woman to a conference room.  
"Control your witness buchanan!" Rafael yelled before leading gray to the elevator with the confused detectives in tow.

Once in the elevator rafael sighed and was watching her as carisi stepped in, "what the hell was that?"  
"Buchanan's new witness he just added, Jenna Lorraine."  
Gray closed her eyes and her body shook a little.  
"What gives her the right to talk like that in court?" Rollins asked as rafael looked back to gray about to answer.  
"My mother." She finally spoke, as rafael pulled her into a hug.  
It went silent... the elevator open and rafi helped her to his office and right into his chair. He waited till everyone was in the office and took a deep breath.  
"Buchanan added new documents including a record of prostitution from grays hometown and her mother as a witness."  
"There was no record in the system, we did full checks." Rollins looked down and nick adds, "interpool as well. Nothing even remotely related."  
"He claims it was a paper file they never filed, mommy of the year there brought it with her on behave the local sheriff." He looked pissed.  
"And he can use it in court? Unfiled should mean useless." Carisi looked over to gray, "how can it be a file and unfiled?"  
"Nothing constructive is In the file. They are open statements with nothing to even show a investigation, much less proof of said claims."  
"What can we do to help?" Liv asked.  
"Get me something on mommy dearest and anything showing a investigation on the claims."  
"We'll get something." Fin nodded as everyone filed out including carisi, to give you two a moment.

"You ok cariño?"  
"No... not at all."  
Rafi walked to gray in the chair and turned her to him as he knelt down, "talk to me gray... don't bottle it up."  
"My mother rafael, my fucking mom. They pulled her to say how I was a shitty child and a prostitute. They aren't gonna mention she forced me, used me, beat me.... traded me for everything she could want."  
"Cariño you didn't deserve that nor what happened now."  
"But she'll destroy the case. She always ruin everything... that's why graduation day is my best memory, I flipped her off and left that god forsaken town behind."  
He pulled her in for a hug, "I will win this case. I will get you justice, because you deserve it after everything you went through."  
She kissed him, then tucked her head in his neck, "tell them to run her names. She has a legnthy record."  
"Cariño..."  
"Rafi, do it. She stopped meaning anything to me when I was 12. Check all her aliases."  
He sighed and lifted her head up, "what aliases, which ones?"  
"Jenna Lorraine, Jenna coors, Jenny Hailey, Jennifer jassel, and uhhhh.... jameson. Jenna jameson."  
"Thank you gray, I'll call those over in a moment... but first, you remember what I told you last time?"  
She turned her head.  
"If you feel sick or anything at all, leave the courtroom. If your on the stand, ask. I don't want you to stress out and hurt the baby."  
"I promise rafi. But I won't let you over stress either, I want you alive when I have this baby not dead from a heart attack."  
"Promise." He smiled and kissed her, "I'll call liv. Just sit there and don't move, I'll order some food too."

Rafi talked to liv and ordered some food before coming back over by the desk to help gray to the couch. She laid down and after making sure she was ok, went back to his desk to review his files. He took notes and examined everything waiting for a detective to show up with the witness record. He was so involved in the work he didn't pay attention to her as she snoozed. There was a soft rap at the door and mick walked in a brown bag and quickly sat it down on the table. He opened the bag and pulled out her all time favorite, mozzarella sticks and two slices of hot shotz pizza. He nodded to barba and left quietly.

Rafi walked over and poured him a coffe and gray a water, before sitting on the edge of the couch.  
"Cariño, your food is waiting. Wake up..."  
She stretched and slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes and looked at him.  
"How long was I out?"  
"Maybe 20 minutes, now come on the food is getting cold."  
He helped her up and to the chair, she seen the food and smiled.  
"my favorites? What did you do wrong?" She joked.  
"I know the court case is going to be rough but, I know you can do it. This is just motivation and my apology ahead of time when I can't defend you."  
"He was granted hostile witness wasn't he?"  
"Judge didn't rule, but he probably will. Your growling tone on stand didn't help."  
"I'm fucked."  
"Not by anyone but me... for the rest of our lives." He kissed her head.  
She started eating and finished all of it but one cheese stick rafi stole before going back to work. He kept looking up and smiling at her, thank god he wasn't hungry because he wouldn't have any to eat. She went back to the couch and laid down before liv and rollins walked in. Rafael was about to excuse himself and them but seen she was sound asleep and just left it.

"What did you find?"  
"A long record. I mean she... her record is as long as the great wall of china." Liv shook her head.  
"How did she ever get custody of a child?" Rollins asked.  
"Father jailed for child abuse, only family was mommy and well... she had hooks all over that town within the 3 weeks it took before a check in from social services."  
"As for the accusations, not a single thing to show investigation." Liv smiled.  
"So I can get that tossed quick but the witness, that's harder." He tapped the desk looking at gray sleeping, "I'll have to redirect after her cross... have her whole life be public record basically. "  
Liv looked over and rollins smiled at the way barba stared, "you two are a adorable couple, but do you think she can do it?"  
"You wouldn't ask that if you had heard her story... She is the strongest person I know." He looked at the time and walked over.  
"Cariño, it's almost time for court and we need to prep." He sat on the edge of the couch and brushed the hair from her eyes.  
"Ok rafi," she sat up and smiled at liv and rollins, "your gonna redirect aren't you?"  
"Your story needs told completely. From birth to graduation, or else your mom is going to tip the jury."  
"Ok rafi... lets start now." She kissed his cheek and they almost could see his blushing cheeks.  
Liv and amanda excused themselves, and raf and gray prepped the best she could.


	18. the perfect storm part 2

Rafael walked into the court room and put his bag down. He took a deep breath before sitting down, his files straightened in front of him. He was winning this even if it killed him. His eyes drifted to buchanan who smiled, cocky as usual. Everyone filed in to the courtroom his eyes drifted back to the detectives, liv nodded as reassurance. The judge entered and rafael sighed, this was it... grayson on the stand going through a cross with buchanan. He wasn't ready to watch this...

************gray*********  
Grayson enter the court room and took the stand. She bit her lip and played with her hands. (This is it.... everything about you is gonna hit the fan girl and your gonna be trying to make rafi feel better.) After finally letting out her breath, the judge started the proceedings. 

Buchanan stood and walked over, "miss grayson, were you a prostitute?"  
"Agianst my will."  
"Your honor..." buchanan started but the judge looked down at her, "please just answer the question miss hailey."  
"Yes."  
"How long were you a prostitute?"  
"From 10 to 18."  
"Did you like it?"  
"Objection!" Rafael yelled over buchanan and the judge shook his head, "where is this going councilor?"  
"Motive your honor."  
"I'll grant leeway, but be warned mr. Buchanan, stay respectful."  
"Did you like it miss grayson?"  
"I hated it."  
"Then why did you do it for so long?"  
Rafael was about object when she answered, "I was forced."  
"Forced? Like kidnapped and trafficked?"  
"No."  
"Then how?"  
"My mom took custody of me and pimped me out for everything she ever wanted."  
"And you never fought?"  
"After being beaten bloody so many times, and knowing the cops are in her pocket it becomes useless."  
"Is that so, did you have a record?"  
"No, again my mom was close with the cops."  
"Then what is this?" Buchanan clicked the button showing the file on the tv screen and handing a couple papers to the jury.  
"Witness statements and charges."  
"But you didn't have a record?"  
"No I didn't have a record."  
"But it's right there?"  
"The charges were never filed."  
"Right... so, they were never filed and 5 colleges asked you to just withdraw your applications?"

Grayson glared at buchanan biting her lip, college was the one subject She never touched. No one understood her reasoning and always judged her harshly. 

"Your honor..."  
"Answer miss hailey."  
"No." It came out partially hissed... she winced. (Shit you just gave buchanan a win.)  
"Your honor permission to treat witness as hostile."  
Rafael eyes closed as the judged answered "Granted"

"Did 5 different colleges ask you to withdraw your acceptance application?"  
"No I withdrew them after deciding I didn't want to go to college."  
"You didn't want to go? You had full ride scholarships to all 5 ivy league colleges."  
"I didn't want to go to college, I wanted to travel."  
"Did you travel?"  
"To london."  
"Anywhere else?"  
"No I didn't have enough money."  
"So you turned to prostitution?"  
"No I got a job as a song writer."   
"You like sex don't you miss grayson?"  
"Objection!" Rafael yelled.  
"Overruled. Witness will answer." The judge watched carefully.  
"Everyone likes sex."  
"So yes... do you like money?"  
"Not really."  
"But you did just make almost 50 thousand dollars selling a song not but two weeks ago?"  
"Its my job, they pay based on expected revenue."  
"So you like sex and money... but not sex for money?"  
"No."  
"You only like sex with the A.D.A. on the case?"  
"objection!" Yelled rafael.  
"How long have you to been dating? How old are you? What is your age difference? Is he your sugar daddy?"  
"Mr. Buchanan stop right now." The judge glared.  
"Do you even know who the father of the baby is." Buchanan yelled.  
"there will be respect in my courtroom and you have more then crossed the line, Hostile witness or not." The judge banged the gavel to get buchanan to step back as rafael fought the urge to flip the table.  
"Sorry your honor. Defense is done." Buchanan smiled as her chest was racing.

Grayson's eyes were blurring out and head throbbing. Rafael looked back to her and then the judge, his lips moving but she couldn't hear anything. He walked over to you, "grayson are you ok?"  
She started to fall forward and his eyes went wide, he pushed her shoulder back and yelled for a ambulance. Judge called a recess and told everyone to leave as medics rolled a gurney in. She passed out as rafael ran along with the medics.


	19. don't let go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation at the end of chapter.

Gray was fine then she just... passed out. Rafael was out of breath watching as the medics did they're jobs, iv in and checking pulse. He mentioned she was pregnant, and they called ahead to inform the emergency room. His head was racing and his heart pounding, watching them move her into a room and asking him to stay back. Two nurses stopping him at the door as his face barely held back tears.He sat alone in the waiting room, begging god to save her... only to be swarmed by the squad shortly after sitting down with tears streaming.

"Any word?" Carisi panted as he ran up and raf shook his head.  
"Have they said anything?"  
Raf shook again as carisi sat beside him muttering a prayer. Liv sat down and was trying to comfort them but niether budged. The rest of the squad waited patiently.... rollins and fin getting coffee for everyone and carisi downing it while rafael barely sipped it. He sat it on the floor and just stared at it.

(Why.... why again? She gets raped, we find out she's pregnant, get a call from the doctor to set up a immediate meeting, now this... you can't take her. Please lord you can't do this.... she doesn't deserve this. She has had the worst life, turned it around.... fell in love. I just want to marry her and give her the life she deserves. Por favor, lord I need her.... don't take her.) His thoughts racing as he heard another voice approach.  
"Rafael, sonny... what happened?" Mick came up and carisi shook his head.  
"She just... passed out." Liv smiled weakly.  
Mick taking a deep breath, looked at the broken rafael,"you know she's going to be fine. Grayson is a warrior, she won't go down that easy."

Rafael nodded but still wouldn't speak. Won't speak, won't eat or drink.... everyone was concerned. It has been 36 minutes since she passed out and the doctor still hasn't said a thing. His heart raced, mind going crazy with a thousand reasons as to why a doctor hasn't came out. The idea of grayson back their on her last breathing begging for him. He though of some of the stories he heard about having problems early in pregnancy and having to decide between chancing the baby or risking the mother. He was breaking apart on the inside but couldn't show it on the outside.... he couldn't let his friends see him falling apart. If he let one tear fall from this point on, he would be gone.... a shell of a man. 1 hour after she was brought in, no word yet.

His mind flooded with memories of the two, they're first meeting in the courthouse and his surprise that she even showed up for drinks much less had a good time talking that night. Their third date were he walked her home and was trying to decide whether he should kiss her when  said are you gonna kiss me or not. The blissful slow deep kiss that had him hazy for days. The first time she invited him to see her perform at Mick's bar. He leaving for London and him surprising her at the gate with the biggest goodbye kiss. The ungodly hour calls they made to each other while she was away. Her meeting Lucia and winning her over almost immediately. When he had the worse day in court and she showed up on his door step with whiskey and her guitar telling him he couldn't be alone, no one deserves to be alone. How she played her favorite song for him, stranger in this world from taboo, and confessed about her childhood. How she refused to let him treat her different and would give advice on his cases about how to work with victims. Everytime she dragged him to the park and leaned over the railing screaming 'i'm king of the world!' and forcing him to laugh when he felt sad or broken. The way she would hang out in his apartment in one of his hoodies and underwear that covered but hid nothing. The smile on her face when the two of them talked about being parents. (No, she isn't gone yet) he thought trying to stay whole without his other half.

Rafael was about to explode when his mom came in.  
"Rafi, Que pasó? Está ella bien?"  
" Mamí, ella acaba de desmayarse, Justo en el estrado. El médico no ha dicho nada. Estoy preocupado ... No sé qué haría si ... si ..." rafael started crying again.  
His mom comforting him as carisi broke at the sight, mick barely holding it together as carisi leaned to liv who was trying to calm him. Three grown men falling apart in the waiting room over one girl... rafael speaking so fast and in broken spanish his mom barely understood.  
"ŻPor qué el médico aún no se ha registrado? Es malo ... tiene que ser. No puedo perder a su mamí ... No puedo, no puedo."

The doctor finally came out and called Hailey. Rafael, carisi, and mick stood up. The rest of the squad watched closely as the doctor spoke.  
"Ms. Hailey is stable and will be able to take visitors shortly. She had a stress attack combined with her condition, it overloaded the system but the babies are safe." Rafael's eyes went wide and the other men stood speechless... well almost.  
"Babies?" Mick asked.  
"Yes, twins. Were you not aware?"  
"The other doctor said she was pregnant but nothing else." Carisi spoke.  
"In that case, I should inform you of the condition as well. Who is the father?"  
Both men looked at rafael and he barely nodded, the doctor sighed.  
"Ms. Hailey has a rare condition, basically it cuts a pregnancy in half. She will only carry for about 4 1/2 months, but it does bring a higher chance of complications. Both during pregnancy and at/after birth. It was the cause of the fainting spell."  
Rafael sat down with his hands covering his face, carisi looked back to the doctor, "when can we see her?"  
"It'll be just a few minutes, and 3 at a time."  
"Thank you doctor." Mick smiled and carisi nodded.

Carisi looked back at barba and mick bent down in front of him, "she's fine, you know she is. You two will get through this, have two beautiful twin babies, and live happily. Gray doesn't give up, and she wouldn't want you to either. She loves your stubbornness, mainly cause it matches hers."  
Rafael scuffed and nodded.  
"Grayson "Nightwing" Hailey.... the original warrior." Carisi chuckled as the two men finally got rafael to look up and half smile.

The doctor came back and lead the three back to the room. Carisi stood at the foot of the bed with mick, rafael sat down beside the bed. He was fighting the tears again, taking her hand and kissing it.  
"Cariño, I'm here. I'm right here."  
His hands brushed hair from her face, tucking it behind her ears. Mick walked to the other side and kneeled down.  
"I know you can hear us.... and we know your strong. But don't be afraid to lean on us.... We'd never hurt you." Mick took her free hand and squeezed it. Carisi moved beside barba and rubbed his back.  
"We know she'll be fine. You now she'll be fine." Carisi looked at raf and raf basically put his head against her side.  
They both heard a light sigh and he asked for a moment. They stepped out and went back to the waiting room.

Raf took a deep breath and gave it a moment before he started.

"Gray.... I need you to hear this. I love you. I truely do. I am overjoyed about the babies... about moving in.... about everything. I just want to give you what you want in life... happiness. And as much as I hate to admit it or do it.... I know you love my singing. And I know you want to see me sing to those kids..." he rubbed her belly, "so wake up and watch."  
He kissed her belly and started softly.

 

_'She’s watching the taxi driver, he pulls away_  
_She’s been locked up inside her apartment a hundred days_  
_She says, yeah, he’s still coming, just a little bit late_  
_He got stuck at the laundromat washing his cape”_  
_She’s just watching the clouds roll by and they spell her name like Lois Lane_  
_And she smiles, oh the way she smiles_ ' 

Rafael bit back tears.

_'She’s talking to angels, counting the stars_  
_Making a wish on a passing car_  
_She’s dancing with strangers, falling apart_  
_Waiting for Superman to pick her up_  
_In his arms yeah, in his arms yeah_  
_Waiting for Superman_

_She’s out on the corner trying to catch a glimpse_  
_Nothing’s making sense_  
_She’s been chasing an answer_  
_A sign lost in the abyss, this Metropolis_  
_She says "Yeah, he’s still coming, just a little bit late"_  
_He got stuck at the Five and Dime saving the day”_  
_She says "If life was a movie, then it wouldn’t end like this"_  
_Left without a kiss_  
_And she smiles, oh the way she smiles, yeah_

_She’s talking to angels, she’s counting the stars_  
Making a wish on a passing car  
She’s dancing with strangers, she’s falling apart  
Waiting for Superman to pick her up  
In his arms yeah, in his arms yeah  
She’s waiting for Superman'

Rafael was praying she would wake up at this point.

_'To lift her up and take her anywhere_  
_Show her love and climbing through the air_  
_Save her now, before it’s too late tonight_  
_Oh like the speed of light_  
_And she smiles_

_She’s talking to angels, she’s counting the stars_  
_Making a wish on a passing car_  
_She’s dancing with strangers, she’s falling apart_  
_Waiting for Superman to pick her up_  
_In his arms yeah, oh in his arms yeah_  
_She’s waiting for Superman_

_To lift her up and take her anywhere_  
_Show her love and climbing through the air_  
_Save her now before it’s too late tonight_  
_She’s waiting for Superman'_

He felt herr body shift, her eyes fluttered, "rafi?..."  
"Thank god cariño, you ok?"  
"I'm fine. Why do you look like you were hit by a truck?"  
"Ive been waiting for you to wake up.... cariño you scared me back there. You just passed out in court."  
"What did the doctor say?"  
"Stress caused you to passout."  
He squeezed her hand, she kissed his cheek.  
"Rafi...I can tell when you lie."  
"I wasn't lying, I just left a little out."  
"Rafi por favor."  
"The er doctor said... it's twins." He watched her face of shock, "and.... and you... you have a condition. The pregnancy will be cut short, take half the time. It also means that their are higher risk of complications."  
He pulled her in, hugging her as she adjusted to the info.  
"Cariño...the babies are fine. The doctor already checked on them."  
"Rafi?"  
"Yes."  
"Are you as scared as I am?"  
He froze, "si... Tengo miedo de morir. No sé si podría ser un buen padre. Si puedo ganar este caso. Estoy dudando de todo en este momento cariño ... por favor no llores ni me voy a desmoronar."  
You squeezed him, "rafi.... I don't have google to translate."  
"Yes.... I am scared to death. I don't know if I could be a good father. If I can win this case. I'm doubting everything right now cariño... please don't cry or I am going to fall apart."  
"Rafi... it's ok. I love you, we'll be fine." She kissed him again.

He started to lean away and his hand loosened before she grabbed it with both hands, "don't let go."  
"Never cariño, I'll never let you go."   
He pulled in closer and hugged her before a knock drew their attention. She had more visitors and they decided they should let them in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Que pasó? Está ella bien? - What happened? Is She OK?
> 
> Mamí, ella acaba de desmayarse, Justo en el estrado. El médico no ha dicho nada. Estoy preocupado ... No sé qué haría si ... si ... - Mom, she just fainted, Right on the stand. The doctor has not said anything. I'm worried ... I do not know what I would do if ... If ... 
> 
> ŻPor qué el médico aún no se ha registrado? Es malo ... tiene que ser. No puedo perder a su mamí ... No puedo, no puedo. - Why isn't the doctor checking in yet? It's bad ... it has to be. I can not lose her mom ... I can't, I can't.
> 
> si... Tengo miedo de morir. No sé si podría ser un buen padre. Si puedo ganar este caso. Estoy dudando de todo en este momento cariño ... por favor no llores ni me voy a desmoronar. - Yes.... I am scared to death. I don't know if I could be a good father. If I can win this case. I'm doubting everything right now cariño... please don't cry or I am going to fall apart


	20. a little bit stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gray watched in court and carisi takes the stand.

The doctor released gray 4 hours later and the trial would continue tomorrow as scheduled. She was done on the stand so the defense would call their witnesses, the 6 defendants maybe... but definitely her mother. Rafael already begged her to stay home untill closing arguments and not watch the rest. He knew she'd tell him no but he tried anyways, because she wasn't allowed to stress. But this did give Rafael new evidence, only extreme circumstances could cause the condition she had... the doctor said he was 99% sure it was her rape that caused it. Which is why she had to keep stress free, or risk the babies.

It was the next morning and rafael helped gray get ready. He started a shower for both of them, washed her hair and back, dried her off, and picked out her clothes. He chose a simple floral dress, tie back, dark blue and white, deep v neck and a over white half lace shrug. She refused to put it on and he sighed, he pulled out a different outfit. He pulled a simple plaid dress in a shirt style, 3/4th sleeved and a black waist belt. Black ankle boots and lace socks sitting out. She gave a nod and got dressed, then he helped pull her hair back. He helped her up and she pushed the crutches away when he handed them to her.  
"Gray."  
"Rafael."  
"You need to use them."  
"No i need help with balance."  
"Then how if you ar..."  
"A cane."  
"I'm going to lose this fight no mater what...ain't i?"  
"You're learning quick raf," she kissed his cheek.  
"Crutches help the case cariño, more sympathy from the jury."  
"Fine," she took them from his hand, "but i am getting a cane afterwards and i will likely hit you with it."  
"Can't wait gray," he kissed her.

The town car arrived to take them to the courthouse and he walked her in beside him.... with the aid of the squad to push the press and crowds back. They asked questions that were on the same level as buchanan's in court. Rafael just looked ahead and helped gray the whole way up.

  
'Ms. Hailey is the a.d.a. your sugar daddy?'  
'Isn't this a conflict of intrest councilor?'  
'Ms. Hailey, were you paid for rough sex?'  
'Nightwing are you a prostitute?'  
'Councilor are you dating a prosititute?'

  
Gray pushed it out of her head, walking through the doors with out letting her head drop once.  
"That's my girl," he whispered and took her hand as they got on the elevator together. Raf entered the court room and set out his papers, while gray sat on the bench outside the room. It was only a couple minutes before sonny came over with the squad just outta ear shot.

"Hey gray, feeling better?"  
"Yeah, I'm good." She winced as she adjusted her leg.  
"Good, good.... so you know I can't go in there, but these guys got you. You need anything just ask."  
She chuckled at sonny, "you tell me that every day since trial started sonny... I think I understand. "  
"Good." He sat beside her, "you know barba is going to win this case. He wouldn't ever let you down."  
"I know, but this case is... it's a mess. I completely failed up on the stand."  
"Barba said you did good."  
"He has to say that. I fucked up and well.... it's clear to the jury me and raf are dating and that I use to be a prostitute."  
"You weren't a prostitute. We know that."  
"But the jury doesn't."  
"They do. Gray just," sonny sighed, "just have faith. He won't let you down."  
"Thats not what I'm worried about."  
"Gray..." sonny was cut off by liv coming to get her.

Liv walked gray in, sitting in the front row. She sat by the isle, liv beside her, nick beside her. Fin and amanda sat one row behind and everyone noticed rafael turned to check. He gave a quick nod and turned back around, only minutes till the judge would enter. She sighed and straightened up, all privacy she had was gone at this point.... and she told rafael to go for broke with her mom. He said no but, if she takes the stand and trashes gray like in the hallway before.... she was going to push him to it.

*****************rafael******************  
Rafael sat in his chair and took a deep breath, he stood on cue and sat down once the judge entered.  
The judge motioned to the defense, "defense may now call their first witness."  
Buchanan stood, "defense calls detective dominick carisi to the stand."  
The doors opened and carisi walked in, he swore in and sat as buchanan approach.

"Detective please state your name for the record."  
"Detective dominick carisi jr."  
"Detective, how do you know ms. Hailey?" Buchanan stopped by the jury.  
"She is a friend."  
"How long have you known her?"  
"Almost my whole career."  
"Which would be?"  
"Almost 8 years."  
"How would you describe your friendship?"  
"What do you mean?" sonny looked confused.  
"How close are you two?"  
"Gray is like a sister to me."  
"Were you two ever intimate?"  
"No."  
"So you two never actually dated?"  
"Objection, asked and answered!" Rafael interrupted.  
"Substain." The judge waved buchanan on.  
"How did you two meet?"  
"I met her on a case."  
"Please elaborate?"  
"I was called out on a assault. Two men attacking a women and she held a gun on them when we pulled up. The gun was unregistered but could be traced back to one of the men. Gray was looking at a gun charge she didn't deserve and I helped her plead it down. Then before trial the charges were dropped. We've been friends since."  
"So you helped her out of a gun charge?"  
"Objection!" Rafael glared at buchanan.  
"Overruled."  
Carisi shifted, "no. I talked to the da to help get it pleaded down because I believed she was in a abusive relationship. It was dropped without my involvement."  
"She was looking at a felony charge?"  
"Yes."  
"But she was left off scott free and you two became 'friends'?"  
"Not like that," carisi tried to hold it back but couldn't.  
"Like how?"  
"Objection!" Rafael interjected again.  
"Move on mr. Buchanan."  
"Detective, did miss hailey ever tell you about her history?"  
"Yes."  
"Did she ever mention being a prostitute?"  
"She wasnt a prostitute. She was forced into it."  
"Do you have anything besides her word to collaborate?"  
Carisi sighed, "no."  
"Did you ever talk to her about case work?"  
"Yes."  
"Did you ever ask for her help on cases?"  
"No."  
"Did you ask her to play a rape victim and frame a gang your squad couldn't prosecute?"  
Rafael started his objection as Buchanan waved it off,  
"Withdrawn, Thank you detective, defense is finished." Buchanan smirks at carisi before sitting down.

Raf didn't stand, he stayed at his spot and looked at carisi.  
"Detective, you've know ms. Hailey for almost 8 years?"  
"Yes."  
"And you two are close?"  
"As I said, she's like a sister to me."  
"Do you find her trustworthy?"l  
"Objection!" Buchanan stood up.  
"He is a close friend, an officer of the law, and one of the cleanest most nonbias character witness that can be used.... speaking towards ms. Hailey's character."  
"Overruled."  
Buchanan sat down and barba stood, "do you find ms. Hailey trustworthy?"  
"Yes."  
"Why?"  
"Because she is one of the most amazing people I ever met. She has never lied to me, is selfless when others are in need, and one of the most caring people I ever met."  
"Did you ever beileve her to be a willing prostitute?"  
"Never."  
"One last question detective," rafael looked at a picture of grays bruises on her stomach, "in your personal knowledge of your mutual friendship... would you ever believe that she was a working prostitute that claimed rape because she was caught in the act?"  
"Never."  
"Thank you, prosecution is done with questioning."  
Rafael smiled at carisi (thank god....).


	21. a twist in traditions

Next mick was called and sworn in. Buchanan approached but stopped short of his usual spot.  
"Mr. Corsson, what do you do?"  
"I am a music producer and bar owner."  
"How old are you?"  
"39."  
"How do you know miss hailey?"  
"She is a close friend and coworker."  
"Have you two ever been in a romantic relationship?"  
"Never."  
"No one night stands or flings?"  
"Objection!" Rafael looked up.  
"Substain."

"Mr. Corsson, how did you two meet?" Buchanan switched his questioning.  
"Grayson was visiting london and ran out of money. She went to a bar I was at and I helped her get a job and save money, even gave her a place to stay. Then I encouraged her to persue a music career."  
"On the night in question, ms. Hailey said she was working. What is exactly her work?"  
"She was recording a demo and working on music for a song."  
"Where were you two working?"  
"My apartment, above my bar."  
"Was alcohol involved?"  
"One glass each."  
"So she was tippy?"  
"No, she has a high alcohol tolerance."  
"So she's a alcoholic?"  
"No she rarely drinks, every other week maybe."  
"But she had been drinking the night she was supposedly attacked."  
"Yes."  
"No further questions," buchanan walked away.

Rafael stood and approached the stand, "Mr. Corsson, how long have you known miss hailey?"  
"About 7 years."  
"Are you two close?"  
"Yes, we've been friends since we met and I help her write and lend her a understanding ear."  
"So she talks to you like a therapist? Openly."  
"Yes."  
"Did she tell you about her past? "  
"Yes."  
"Does she tell you about things happening at home...her love life?"  
"Yes and yes."  
"Did she ever talk about cases she was told about?"  
"No."  
"Did she ever talk about crimes besides her past history?"  
"No."  
"Do you believe she would make fraudulent claims of rape?"  
"Objection!" Buchanan shouted.  
"Character witness you honor," rafael looked to the judge who replied, "Overruled."  
"Please answer mr. Corsson." Raf prompted.  
"Never. Grayson is strongly against all crimes sexual in nature and definitely rape. She has even been a advocate to past victims, she would never make a false claim."  
"Thank you mr. Corsson. The people rest." Rafael sat back down as mick was excused from the stand.  
The judge called a recess for lunch, rafael packed his things up carefully before meeting gray in the hall with the squad.

*********gray*********  
Recess was called for lunch and gray walked out of the room with the squad in around her. Carisi helped her out and to the elevator while everyone else moved the media back to let them through, raf stepping on just before the door closed.  
"How you doin cariño?"  
"Good raf. You?"  
"Great, I think the jury is liking our side." He kissed her forehead.  
"Good, care for a lunch out?"  
"Sorry cariño, I have to work out a few more questions to ask based from his defense.... the revenge theory is falling apart well enough."  
"Ok, but promise me you will eat some. And real food not a snack you hid in your desk."  
"I Promise cariño," he tugged her pinkie with his before pressing his floor and watching her and carisi leave the elevator, "see you in a hour."

She waited till the door closed and turned to carisi, "we need to make a pit stop before getting lunch."  
"Where?"  
"Jewelry store... I'm gonna purpose to raf."  
Carisi smiled, "you really thought about it,Your gonna turn the tables on him?"  
"we talked marriage and I made him promise not to purpose unless it felt right.... it feels right for me but I think he's scared of it feeling like the sympathy purposal. Babies on the way and the recent victim hood status, it would definitely look like it and besides this case is bad enough without him confessing his love to me and putting a ring on it."  
"So my grayson is going to purpose," carisi was beaming, "god you make it fell like a fairy tale."  
"Maybe brothers grimm because disney wouldn't put rape in a story."  
"That would make you the princess!" Carisi helped gray in the suv, "her royal majesty, princess grayson hailey."  
"Carisi stop or I am beating you with the crutches again."  
He chuckled and slid in beside her as the detail drove them to the shop she asked for.

******************rafael******************  
Rafael went to his office and pulled out the ring. He opened the little velvet box and stared at it trying to plan out how he would do this. The original romantic night out felt wrong now, especially with the media on this case. He probably should stick with home, but honestly a romantic dinner sounded lame. He needed something big but private... well maybe not big. He held his head up with his hand and stared at the ring, completely missing the knock at the door.

"daydreaming barba?" Liv smiled as she sat across from him.  
"Trying to plan the proposal again."  
"Why not do it how you originally planned?"  
"Doesn't feel right," he sighed and looked up, "and with the media it would be better to do in private."  
"Ok... nice candle lit dinner."  
"Overdone," he frowned.  
"Well, what does gray like?"  
"Music. Food.... nothing i can use in a proposal really."  
"Come on, there has to be something... she writes music for a living. What ar..."  
"I got it," he smiled as he interrupted, "like I'm gonna lose you."  
Liv looked confused, and rafael laughed, "one of the songs she just sold was called like I'm gonna lose you. She dedicated it to us because of this whole ordeal."  
"Sounds romantic," liv stood up, "keep working on the Proposal but I got to be going."

He said good bye and went to work planning it out. Every last detail was being wrote down and he decided tomorrow would be the day to do it, so he had just enough time to get what he needed.

********gray**********  
Gray walked out of the store and sat the small red bag to the side on the seat as carisi moved to peak. She slapped his hand and repeated no like he was a puppy that piddled on the floor.  
"Come on grayson. I just want to see how you plan on purposing."  
"So you can blab to raf, no." She put the bag on her lap.  
"I told you I'm sorry, come on."  
"Nope. Ask after I propose tomorrow."

Carisi nodded and drove back to the courthouse, back to the court case and to rafi. Gray and carisi walked in, up to the court room and took a seat behind raf's table. The squad came in and sat with them as raf came in to his table, he turned to look at her and she leaned against carisi trying to adjust her leg. When she noticed him looking back she blushed and looked down. Raf smirked and pulled her child services case up to the top of the files on the small table. He was about to do a cross on her mother. This was going to be the breaking point, if only he could tell if it was for better or worse.


	22. mommy dearest

**********rafael********  
The court room got situated and the judge was brought back out. He took his seat and brought the court to session, having buchanan calling his next witness. Mommy dearest, walked through the door and up to the stand as rafael smiled.... this was going to be the big moment, raf was going to cross gray's mom and hopefully make her feel some shame for her actions.

"mrs. Jenna Lorraine, may I call you jenna?" Buchanan approached.  
"Yes."  
"Jenna, you are the mother to one grayson hailey correct?"  
"Yes."  
"Your daughter claims you forced her into prostitution, is this true?"  
"No, I would never do that."  
"Why would she claim that?"  
"Because she got caught."  
"Can you please elaborate on her childhood?" Buchanan walked over by the jury as jenna talked.  
"She was a very sexual child. Kissing boys at 4, dating at 5, sex at 10... I had to hear how my 11 year old daughter was a dollar whore for the neighborhood boys. She was dating boys much older then her and I even heard rumors of grown men." She scuffed, "she wouldn't listen or take any responsibility, hell she had several pregnancy scares...at least two a month."

Raf clenched the table and struggled to stay quiet, he knew she was lying but he couldn't do anything. He just sat and watched her spew lies and call her own daughter a whore several times.

"Does your daughter have a record?" Buchanan adds in nonchalantly.  
"Yes, she was arrested for prostitution."  
"Was there any other charges?"  
"She had a assult charge that was dropped because she slept with the sheriff."  
Buchanan turned to look at gray and smirked, "did she ever trade sex for favors or money?"  
"All the time, she came home with cash all the time. I knew I should of stopped her but, we needed the cash and I knew she wouldn't listen."  
Buchanan walked back to his stand, "one last question. When was the last time you saw your daughter?"  
"Her graduation day, she left right after and never tried to contact me. I assumed it was because she was talking to her dad in jail."  
"Thank you jenna, defense rests." Buchanan sat down.

Raf stood up and smiled, "mrs. Lorraine... or is it Mrs. Hailey, mrs. jassel, mrs. Coors, or mrs. Jameson?"  
"Mrs. Lorraine is correct."  
"How many times have you been married?"  
"Objection relevance!" Buchanan glared.  
"Establishing history your honor."  
"Overruled, " the judge motions for rafael to continue.  
"Mrs. Lorraine, how many times have you been married?" Raf walked over to the jury.  
"Four times."  
"And which husband fathered your child grayson?"  
"The second one."  
"Were you there for grayson's up bringing?"  
"Yes."  
"For the younger years?" He questioned and turned towards her, "because this file said you lost rights when she was 2 and only gained them back at 10."  
"Well...."  
"Are you saying this file is wrong?"  
"No... that is correct. I lost custody for 8 years."  
"Why did you lose custody?"  
"A minor incident that was blown out of proportion. "  
"A minor incident?" Raf looked sickened, "you left your two year old unattended to go have sex with your boyfriend. She broke a cup trying to get a drink and fell onto broken glass. And you..." he pointed at her, "proceeded to beat her for breaking the glass while she was bleeding!"  
"That is not true, I spanked her."  
Rafael opened the file and read, "mrs. Hailey used unnecessary force to a injured toddler. We recommend immediate parental rights removal and no visitation do to concern for child well being."  
"That isn't true. I did not abuse her."

"You left hand shape bruises on her butt and didn't attend to the cut wrist or other cuts!" Raf hit the remote to show the pictures child services took from the incident, "she had glass stuck in her wrist and cuts all over her body!"  
He clicked through the photos, "a broken rib, a gash on her head that required 23 stitches and a spiral fracture on her arm from where you held her down to 'spank' her while she needed medical attention!"

"Objection!" Buchanan stood, "harassing the witness!"  
"Councilor substain from this line of questioning," the judge spoke, "control yourself mr. Barba."  
"Apologies your honor," he sighed and sat the remote down and took a deep breath as he turned to look at gray, "mrs. Lorraine, you regained custody of your daughter at 10. Why was that?"  
"Her father was sent to prison."  
"So you got custody on a technicality?"  
"Yes," she bit back.  
"Were you married at the time?"  
"Yes."  
"To which husband?"  
"Coors, my third husband."  
"Did mr. Coors have a record?"  
"Yes."  
"Did his record restrict him from being near children?"  
"Yes."  
"Did he live in the same house as miss grayson?"  
"Yes."  
"Was that breaking the law?"  
"Yes."  
"Did he ever attempt to assault grayson?"  
"No... never."  
"State's evidence 46 and 47," he held up the drawing and handed the other paper for the jury to look at, "did grayson accuse mr. Coors of attempting to rape her?"  
"Yes."  
"Was their evidence of it?"  
"Yes."  
"So did he ever attempt to assault your daughter?"

"He wouldn't do that. She was a stupid little slut..." grays mother started into a rant as grayson stood and almost ran out of the court room if it weren't for her braced ankle, carisi following her out, "...that slept with everyone! All the time she was on her back and begging for more!"  
"Your honor..." raf tried to speak.  
"She was a piss poor excuse for a daughter and a dirty little whore that..."  
"Your honor!" Buchanan approached the stand.  
"...wasn't good at anything but taking it! she deserves everything she got!"  
"Mrs. Lorraine!" The judge banged the gavel and buchanan and security was trying to remove her as she broke down in court.  
"You only care cause you knocked her up! Your pretty little mexican ass doesn't need the world knowing you fell for a whore. Save your fucking image so you can play the politician, she won't be a good wife... she'll just make you look like a fool!"

Raf stood still breathing deeply and holding a fist to restain from braking down like her. The judge called a recess and raf ran out to the hall to find gray. He turned the corner and heard sniffling from a cleaning closet. He slipped in and shut the door, dropping down to pull in his broken girlfriend.


	23. broken

*******grayson***********  
Grayson couldn't take it anymore, she left the court room with sonny in tow. She managed to slip in a cleaning closet without him seeing. A few minutes later she heard the door and whimpered, only to be pulled in by a familiar scent.  
"Shhhhhhh, I got you gray." Rafael kissed her forehead, "your safe."  
"I love you rafi."  
"I love you nightwing," he tipped her head back to see him, "I love you.... don't worry about anything else."  
"I can't." She hid her face again and cried into his chest, "I can't do this. I can't even breath."  
"Hey listen, I'm here for you." He squeezed her to him, "your safe right here. In my arms nothing Can get you, harm you, nor break you. Your a warrior gray... you don't back down like this, this isn't you. You fight, you fight like hell."

She shook her head no in his chest, his heart breaking at the sight... She knew it was. (I am a worthless whore, that's all I ever been. My moms right, raf deserves better. He doesn't deserve to be laughed at for staying with me. I should just give up... I can't do anything right!) Raf's arm tightened squeezing her until she couldn't breath.

"Grayson... I love you, don't give up." The words fell from his lips, right into her golden hair.

Her whimpers died down, so he continued, "I seen the surveillance video, I seen you fight. You didn't fall apart you pushed until you couldn't... you knocked out two of the guys and made enough noise to draw attention from the bar. Just look at your injuries now, they are almost gone."  
She didn't move nor make noise, taking it as a good sign he went for a joke, "besides, your the only girl to ever get me on my kness in a suit in a broom closet."  
She let out a airy chuckle so he tried again, "and someone should really tell your mom I'm not Mexican, I'm Cuban."

Her eyes squeezed shut and let out a giggle before kissing him, "what would I do without you?"  
"Anything cariño, your not kind to backdown when you want something."  
She smiled, "I love you."  
"Love you too," he kissed her forehead and she fell back into a whimper.  
It was soft, he sighed and wiped away her tears, "can you hold it together long enough to get back to my office? At least there we don't have to worry about people walking in....especially press."

"I don't want to move... I like it, it feels like home. Like what I deserve."

"You don't deserve it, and this isn't your home. Your home isn't where you grew up it's right here with me. Home is where the heart is not a specific place, and certainly not anywhere near that horrible mother of yours... It's right hear with me... In my arms." Raf tugged her tighter refusing to let her push away.  
She gave up and  nodded letting him help her up, he opened the door carefully and they slipped out and to the back stairs without the press or others seeing.  
He smiled and turned towards her, "hold the crutches in front of you."  
"Why?"  
"Creéme."

She did as he asked and he scooped her up in his arms, he carried her up to his floor and helped her into his office. He told carmen to hold all calls and no guests, then he locked the door and made sure to close all the window blinds. He sat down on the couch and pulled grayson into a tight hug. He sighed and kissed her hair as she went back to crying.  
"Shhhhhhhhh.... it's ok gray."

*************rafael************  
Grayson was crying relentlessly, she was beyond broken and he couldn't think straight. (How can I stop her from crying when I can't think straight?) He just shushed and kissed her head, hoping she would stop. He didn't even realize it happened till he was in to deep. It started as a soft hum, slowly getting louder... then it just happened. Raf started singing it softly, purely from memory.

'I found myself dreaming  
In silver and gold  
Like a scene from a movie  
That every broken heart knows, we were walking on moonlight  
And you pulled me close  
Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone  
I woke up in tears  
With you by my side  
A breath of relief  
And I realized  
No, we're not promised tomorrow'

He pulled her tighter, as she lowered to a sniffle.

'So I'm gonna love you  
Like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna hold you  
Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing  
I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when  
When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you  
Like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you'

Rafael stopped, noticing he was singing out loud. Gray looked up and wiped her tears.  
"Don't stop... por favor."

'In the blink of an eye  
Just a whisper of smoke  
You could lose everything  
The truth is you never know  
So I'll kiss you longer baby  
Any chance that I get  
I'll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets'

Rafael had gotten louder and didn't notice it. Gray joining in much quieter then him.

'Let's take our time  
To say what we want  
Use what we got  
Before it's all gone  
'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow' So I'm gonna love you'

Her voice raising softly as she lifted her head just enough for him to hear. The two singing in a decent Harmony.

'Like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna hold you  
Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing  
I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when  
When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you  
Like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna love you  
Like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna hold you  
Like I'm saying goodbye wherever we're standing  
I won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when  
When we'll run out of time so I'm gonna love you'

She rested her head on his shoulder and let him finish it alone as she wiped away her tears, forcing herself to let her smile show.

'Like I'm gonna lose you  
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you'

He kissed her head and then there was a knock at the door, "mr. Barba? SVU is here to see you."  
Rafael tightened his grip (did they just here me?).  
"Not the best time carmen," he called and gray looked up.  
"No rafi, you need to work. Don't let me distract you."  
"Your not a distraction. Your never a distraction grayson." He caressed her cheek, "your crying and stressing is my main focus right now, I need you calm and healthy for the niños."  
She nodded, "I love you raf."  
"Love you too gray."  
Second knock at the door drawing their attention, "barba, we have something you might want to see."  
(Damn it.) He groaned and kissed gray again, "do you want me to get the door?"  
"You need to work raf, I'm good."  
Gray sat up and raf opened the door. Gray stayed laying on the couch breathing to calm down.

"Yes?"  
"First, here is your briefcase and files you left behind." Liv handed him the briefcase, "second, the judge added a few pieces of evidence. The defenses medical examiner and buchanan had this put in."  
"What is this?" Rafael turned through the file, skimming the pages.  
"A request for a second exam to be done by their examiner. Judge didn't rule since you ran out and they had to drag a witness off the stand."  
"Half the injuries are healed, it would be pointless."  
"But it stalls the trial why you two argue."  
"Thanks liv."  
"Judge said the trial continues tomorrow, " liv turned to walk away, "oh and barba.... nice voice."  
Rafael was blushing as liv left, he walked back to the couch and hugged gray to him.

"Are we feeling better?" He asked.  
She nodded, "are you?"  
"Not one bit," he smirked, "but that's why I have you."  
"Rafi, you should get to work. I'll see you at home." She kissed him and slowly got up, moving towards the door.  
"Hey gray?"  
"Yeah raf."  
"Please stay.... I can work and cuddle."  
She chuckled, "fine, but the minute I get in the way I go."  
"Deal," he grabbed his files and sat as gray rested her head on his lap.  
Gray dozed off as raf worked, the two spending the last few hours of his work together on his couch.

That evening they went back to his place and fell asleep immediately, neither wanted to do anythig else but lay their with the other. Grayson's thoughts still swarming from her breakdown, her second thoughts on purposing mixing as well.


	24. hold strong

Morning came and they went back to the court house, back through the press, and back to the court room. Gray sat outside in the hall while the judge talked to both councilors, her thoughts from last night still plaguing her mind. (Raf deserves better, he deserves someone who isn't a mess... He has dreams and a chance to be better then he is now, to succeed in life. I'm just dragging him down.... I've never been anything and never will be anything at this rate.)

The doors opened and raf stepped out, he sat down beside gray and took her hand, "penny for your thought?"

"It's nothing."

"Gray, talk to me...Por favor." He gave it a squeeze.

"I'm fine raf, let's do this."

He nodded and went in, watching as gray took her seat and the squad sat with her.

* * *

**Rafael**

* * *

 

The judge called the councilors to chambers to settle the new evidence admittance, ruling in favor of the people. The last witness was the medical examiner buchanan hired. Court was called to session, the M.E. sworn in, and buchanan asking simple questions to incriminate gray. The rape kit does show evidence of past sexual abuse that is usually found in prostitutes. Buchanan wanted it to be very clean, grayson use to be a prostitute. Rafael needed a hard hit to end the court case... he had a plan but it involved doing something he didn't want to do. Call gray back to the stand.

Raf asked for a brief recess and after it was granted he escorted gray into a meeting room down the hall.  
"Whats up raf?"  
"I need to put you back on the stand."  
"Why?" She sunk down in the chair.  
He sat on the table beside her chair, "I needed to do it before but was hoping to dodge it, I should've redirected after buchanans cross."  
"What do you need me to do?" She covered his hand and he scuffed.  
"Be you... not the victim, not the advocate... be the grayson I fell in love with. The strong woman that never let anyone baby her over her past."  
"You sure?"  
"When you play victim it hurts the case. Stand strong and tell them everything I ask for.... just trust me."  
"Of course I trust you raf."  
"No gray, I am going to be hitting quite a few nerves up there and you need to trust I know what I am doing...ok?"  
"Ok."  
She tipped her head back and tugged her hand. Her head came up and he kissed her hard.  
"That is for the future... you won't be kissing me after this redirect."  
"I don't need a therapy dog up there raf."  
"I know... make me proud."

Raf walked back into the courtroom and waited for it to be called into session. The judge gave him his opportunity to cross and raf instead recalls a witness. Buchanan didn't expect that as grayson walked back in, without crutches, to the stand. A soft limp on her way up and a determination on her face. she was sworn back in and rafael approached.

"Miss grayson, we have heard allegations in court that you are a prostitute... is that true?" Rafael approached the jury.  
"No."  
"Were you ever a prostitute?"  
"Yes, when I was younger my mom sold me off to men by the hour."  
"This wasn't of your choice?"  
"No."  
"How old were you?"  
"Starting, 10."  
"Were you ever charged, or arrested for prostitution?"  
"No."  
"Have you ever been convicted of a crime?"  
"No."  
"Have you ever been arrested or charged with a crime?" Rafael turned to look at her.  
"Yes."  
"Please elaborate for the court."  
"I was in a abusive relationship. My boyfriend was low on cash and was going to sell me to a friend for the night. I said no and fought them off, eventually grabbing his gun and holding them at gun point." She shifted on the stand, "I was arrested for gun possession and attempted murder. The case was dropped before trial and charges withdrawn once the gun was connected to my ex and a witness statement given that I was defending myself. None of the officers believed that I would've used the gun or had any attention to kill either one of the men."  
"You have a long history of being a victim, is that correct?"  
"Yes."  
"What was the earliest record of abuse on you?"  
"I was two when my mother had her parental rights revoked."  
"Do you remember what happened?"  
"Not well, I was young."  
"Do you remember any of it?" He approached the stand and locked eyes with her, a silent hope that she could continue.  
"Yes, I remember falling on broken glass, feeling inmess pain and crying. Then it gets blurry."  
"Why do you remember that?"  
"This," she pulled back her sleeve to reveal the scar on her wrist that traces her main vein, "one piece of glass had sliced open my wrist and cause me to loose a lot of blood. My wrist is permanently scared from the accident."  
"Is that the only scar you have?"  
"No, I have plenty more."  
"How many from your childhood?"  
"Over 90%."  
"So its safe to say you are a case of child abuse and neglect?"

"Objection! Relevance. "  
"defense claimed prostitution and opened the door on her past history."  
"Overruled, preced councilor." The judge motioned for rafael to continue.

"Grayson, you have a long history of abuse and neglect?"  
"Yes."  
"Just from your mother?"  
"No, father and step dads as well."  
"Domestic abuse?"  
"Yes."  
"You have been a victim advocate before?"  
"Yes, three times."  
"Did you seek out councilling?"  
"No, trust issues from the abuse makes it hard to talk about my past." She squirmed just a little.  
"How do you cope?"  
"Music. I started writing and never stopped." She smiled and raf let a small smirk crack on his face.

"It became your career?"  
"Yes."  
"How much do you usually make when you sell a song?"  
"It's based off royalties from each song. Albums sells, internet streaming, radio plays, movie usage... there isn't a real average to give."  
"The defense pointed out you recently received a large payout from selling a song?"  
"It was a bonus basically, given based on expected revenue for the song."  
"Almost 50 thousand dollars?"  
"Before taxes yes."  
"How often do you get paid per song?"  
"I usually get paid once a year. Depending on how songs do and are used in media, I can get two or three a year."  
"Are bonuses common?"  
"No they are not, they are rarely given out and heavily taxed."  
"So it's safe to say there is more money in prostitution then song writing?"

"Objection!"  
"On what grounds mr. Buchanan?" The judge looked to him.  
"Speculation."  
"I have record of royalties and pay given based in a year for a song writer compared to the booking keeping from a escort services used in a previous case." Rafael walked to the table and pulled both items to walk to the judge.  
He skimmed through for a minute before nodding, "I'll allow."

Raf turned back towards the jury, "grayson, can you please answer the question?"  
"Yes, there would be more money in prostitution over song writing."  
He looked over his shoulder, "the court has seen files recently added from a emergency room visit you had recently. Can you please tell what the doctor said?"  
"I suffer from a rare condition due to the trauma from being attacked."  
"One last question grayson," raf smiled at the jury, "can you please tell us the father of the baby?"  
"You councilor, conception was before the attack and rape." She bit back a laugh.  
"Thank you grayson, that is all."

Rafael turned to walk back to his seat, one hand in his front pocket. Buchanan took the hit with a bowed head to hide aggravation, unlike grayson did when he shot the question off to her the first time... the jury chuckling as the judge calls order. (That's right, I'm not letting your cheap shot go buchanan.) The defense rested and the jury went to deliberation. Raf walked out and kissed gray right infront of the waiting press. He walked her out and to his office upstairs to wait for the jury to decide. He helped her to his desk chair and smiled as the squad entered.

"So what's your read on the jury?" Liv asked.  
"There is alot to take in, witness testimonies... it could go either way."  
"You did good Councillor, this shouldn't be long." Rollins reassured before carisi butted in.  
"We should all go out to celebrate the hard part being over, drinks tonight... First round on me."

Everyone agreed, starting the waiting period for the jury. It was getting late, the jury wouldn't decide today. Everyone headed over to Mick's bar.


	25. Warrior

It was about 8 o'clock as the everyone entered Mick's bar. The usual crowd mixed already drinking and hoping for a show on the small back stage. Every Friday night, they had some performance but tonight Mick didn't book one. He had something better planned, and a huge surprise instore.

Sonny bought the first round of drinks and Mick went to get them as gray followed. Raf sat at the table with the squad wondering why gray wanted to talk to Mick alone, but he brushed it off and joined the conversation. Liv asked if he was going to purpose to her tonight or wait and sonny quickly looked up.

"Your gonna purpose to gray?"

"Yes, I was planning it before but... Well that didn't work out well with her getting attacked." He smirked, "why? do I need to ask your permission?"

"No, no.... Uh, just... Just surprised." Sonny was acting weirder then usual.

"Well, I plan on surprising her tonight. Already set it up with Mick." 

Mick brought the drinks over and gray sat beside raf. Everyone started passing around stories and making gray tell some of hers. A few from her teen years came up and raf was about to jump in to stop it but she brushed it off and told them. He was surprised, she hardly ever talked about her past much less to people she barely knew. It took him, sonny, and Mick 4 or more months before they even really found out. She was in her element, as if she was use to talking about it and knew everyone around her.... She was very chipper.

After a little bit, raf was going to put things in motion when Mick tapped Gray's shoulder. He whispered something before walking off to the stage. She leaned towards him and kissed his cheek.

"Love you raf," she whispered in his ear and smiled as Mick called everyones attention.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if you have turned on the news, radio, or flipped through a paper or magazine.... You have probably heard about a little case that hits close to this bar. One of my dearest friends was attacked and has been suffering through a court case that has the media's attention. They are finally in deliberation and everyone is waiting for the big ending to the story, but they are forgetting the people involved. So it is my honor to bring her up here on stage, like I have done several times before, so she can perform a new song for everyone that has never been heard before. Not even by me. Ladies and gentlemen, the amazing Grayson Hailey."

Raf watched as gray stood up and walked to the stage, a slight limp as she took the stage and hugged Mick. She sat down at the piano and looked towards the audience.

"As Mick said, this is the first time I ever played this song for anyone... I have been writing it most my life and decided this was the perfect night to sing it." She turned to sit properly at the piano to play, "this one is for my mom... I hope she hears it."

Raf sat confused as she took a deep breath and started to play. He caught her hands stop and a glisten of a tear in her eyes before she blinked it away. She started again and he watched as she pushed on. The music coming to a start and her lips parting ever so carefully to sing the lyrics.

> _This is a story that I have never told_  
>  _I gotta get this off my chest to let it go_

He watched her small shiver, and forcing back of tears as he fought the urge to run up there. To tell her she didn't need to do this and they could just hide away the rest of their lives. But she pushed on and kept a slightly wavering voice strong.

> I _need to take back the light inside you stole_  
>  _You're a criminal_  
>  _And you steal like you're a pro_
> 
> * * *

**Grayson**

* * *

 

> _All the pain and the truth_  
>  _I wear like a battle wound_  
>  _So ashamed, so confused_  
>  _I was broken and bruised_

Gray took a deep breath and ignored her body urging her not to continue. Her voice getting stronger. 

> _Now I'm a warrior_  
>  _Now I've got thicker skin_  
>  _I'm a warrior_  
>  _I'm stronger than I've ever been_  
>  _And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in_  
>  _I'm a warrior_  
>  _And you can never hurt me again_

She looked down and pushed through every nerve telling her to run off stage now.

> _Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire_  
>  _You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar_  
>  _I've got shame, I've got scars_  
>  _That I will never show_  
>  _I'm a survivor_  
>  _In more ways than you know_  
>  _'Cause all the pain and the truth_  
>  _I wear like a battle wound_  
>  _So ashamed, so confused_  
>  _I'm not broken or bruised_

Her hand stuttered on the key and she rolled her head to gain control back,  _ **Come on girl... You can do this.**_

> _'Cause now I'm a warrior_  
>  _Now I've got thicker skin_  
>  _I'm a warrior_  
>  _I'm stronger than I've ever been_  
>  _And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in_  
>  _I'm a warrior_  
>  _And you can never hurt me_

left hand cramped up, a tear escaped, her lips trembled as every hair on her body stood and her skin pimpled up with fear.  _ **Not this time,**_ she thought,  _ **i have to do this for me. To win me back... To finally close that chapter of my life once and for all. For every time I flinched when someone tries to comfort me, for every bad relationship I was in because I thought that I deserved it. For every touch I never wanted, every time I cried myself to sleep or ran people off because I was scared they would leave me when I needed them... Like everyone else did. For the sick feeling I get Everytime I look at that scar on my wrist or the trust issues I have never worked through. No, this is to end it all... To finally start new with the life i want, whether I deserve it or not. I start new.**_ she pushed out the lyrics in a strong voice, her hesitance gone... Her body no longer fighting.

> _There's a part of me I can't get back_  
>  _A little girl grew up too fast_  
>  _All it took was once, I'll never be the same_  
>  _Now I'm taking back my life today_  
>  _Nothing left that you can say_  
>  _'Cause you were never gonna take the blame anyway_

Gray squeezed her eyes shut and let the tears fall softly as she sang, just barely above a whisper into the mic.

> _Now I'm a warrior_  
>  _I've got thicker skin_  
>  _I'm a warrior_

Her voice came out louder then she had the whole song, strong and absolutely electrifying. Her head came up as she was lost in the moment.... no longer feeling as if she was in the bar.

> _I'm stronger than I've ever been_  
>  _And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in_  
>  _I'm a warrior_  
>  _And you can never hurt me again_  
>  _No oh yeah yeah_  
>  _You can never hurt me again_

Gray sat her hands ontop of the keys, her body trying to find itself again. She didn't hear the cheering, the clapping, anyone screaming for her... Any of them approaching her. She was on her high, finally feeling as if she was done with her victim problems.

* * *

**Rafael**

* * *

as gray finished her song, the room errupted in cheers. He had felt goosebumps during her performance, his body on the edge of the seat wanting to run over and imbrace the beautiful woman he loved that was falling apart on stage while singing. As well as every person in the audience, he felt the pain and the sensation of peace overcoming the ending... The blissful carry through.

He watched as she sat there still out of it and walked through the crowd, carisi pushing through behind him and Mick running up the other side of the stage and over to her. The three men closing in and seeing she was almost out of it. Rafael dropped to his knees by the bench and pulled her into his arms as the guys stood blocking the view. Mick motioned to pull the curtains and they looked on waiting for gray to say or do something.

As if it was the flick of a switch, her arms tightened around him, her face tucking into him.

"Raf... I love you."

"I love you too Grayson."

She trembled in his arms before shaking her head no, "no raf... I love you, really truelly love you. Like that cheesy love song love you... Like if you let go of me right now I would die."

He parted his lips but didn't get farther then, "Grayso..."

"Marry me."

It went dead silent and she pushed back to look at his face, "marry me Rafael Barba... Never leave me again for the rest of our lives."

He was frozen as she stared at him, her hands squeezing his arms, "por favor."

He smiled, "shouldn't I be asking that."

Her lips broke into a smile and kissed him... Bruisingly.

"Cariño, will you marry me?" He pulled out the ring and she nodded.

He slipped it on her hand as she frowned, "I was going to do that... But I forgot it at home."

"You got me a ring?"

"Uhhhh..... Not quite." She smiled and kissed him again before resting against him, "I love you."

"I'll love you more then you'll ever know." He kissed her forehead and chuckled, "let's just go home."

She nodded and let him lift her up, carisi and Mick smiling and whistling as they walked out to the detail car and left the bar. Not caring as to what was said about them or how 'horrible' the proposal truelly was compared to how he planned it out or the fact she planned on as well. It was possibly the best one he ever seen, mainly because it was his. 

They pulled up to his building after cuddling the whole drive, her detail was left outside as he practically carried her up. Only sitting her down once they were inside the bedroom. She pulled her draw open and pulled out a small oversized box, handing it to him to open. He smiled and pulled out a small square, confusion covered his face.

"What is this?"

"A pocket square I had especially made for you. It's the white with black music written on it with red detail that says..."

He cut her off as he opened the clothes and smiled, "love you Superman".

He smiled and folded it up carefully, "you were going to propose with a pocket squares?"

"Engagement ring didn't seem as good, and a chain with nothing on it wasn't going to work."

He chuckled as he laid the square down and kissed her, pushing her back on the bed. She reached up and ran a hand down his shirt undoing the buttons. 


	26. Waiting

The next morning, raf woke up with gray wrapped up in his arms. He smiled and kissed her cheek as he slowly got up, her arms wrapping around his waist to stop him.

"Don't go, your warm."

"Cariño..."

"Nope."

"I have to pee."

"Hold it... Por favor." 

He laughed and sat down, gave her a kiss as he pried her hands away. He walked to the bathroom as she sighed, giving her best pout for him when he came back. He walked out with a smile, the sight before him was adorable. He laid back down and reached for her before she rolled away.

 "Mi bello prometido, puedo tener un beso?"

"No."

"Do you understand what I said?"

"No, but my answer still stands."

"Mi Bello, my beautiful," he pulled her side and forced her to roll to her back, "prometido means fiance."

"My beautiful fiance? Already getting cheesy with me."

Raf rolled his eyes, "puedo tener un beside?"

"Still don't speak Spanish." Gray quipped.

"Can I have a kiss?"

She turned her head, "are you asking or telling me what you said."

"Both, now kiss me." Raf grabbed her chin softly and turned her just enough to kiss her.

"Your lucky I love you." She giggled as he ran a hand over her scars.

 "I am." He sighed before laying his head against her chest, "I really am."

They laid like that for a hour before his alarm went off. They got up and got dressed, raf was in his usual styled suit and gray slipped on dress pants and a blouse. He helped her to the door where carisi and fin were waiting.

"Hello?" Raf said clearly taken back by someone being their.

"Liv sent us to escort you two, the press is outside and the courthouse is worse." Fin nodded as he stuck out a cup, "coffee?"

Raf took the cup and said thanks as carisi gave gray a hot chocolate. They walked out to the back door and fin stepped out before ushering them out to the waiting car, just dodging the press that noticed a minute to late. They arrived at the courthouse and had Amanda, Nick, and Liv waiting... They helped push the press back as raf helped you up the steps. They made it in the door and in the elevator up to raf's office before they asked the big question.

"So can we see?" Amanda smiled and gray blushed.

She held out her had as raf smiled proudly, Liv and Amanda loved it. Carisi got a better look and mentioned how great it looked on her hand. 

"So... How did it happen? How did you purpose?" Liv asked Rafael.

He chuckled as gray shook her head, "uh...Well... It kinda was a double proposal I guess."

"Gray just pulled back from him and asked him to marry her." Carisi so kindly offered, "then he pulled out the ring and asked her basically."

"Ok... He gave you a ring, what did you give him? I mean, you proposed to right?" Amanda pushed.

The elevator stopped and raf helped gray out and to his office, dropping her in the chair as he pulled out a pocket square from his jacket. He unfolded them and pulled the one gray gave him out and handed towards them.

"A pocket square?" Carisi raised a brow, "I thought you bought jewelry."

"I bought me a chain, so I could always wear it even when my fingers swell during pregnancy." Gray smiled, "I special ordered this square for him."

They each looked at the square and laughed, "love you Superman."

Raf looked at fin who laughed out the inscription, gray answering the unasked question, "our song is 'waiting for Superman'. I wrote it after our fifth date when he was late for the fourth time."

He rolled his eyes and took the square back, folding it with the other square to give a better design before slipping it back in. The squad left shortly after that and gray sat with raf, cuddled on the couch. 

"Hey raf?"

"Hmmm?"

"Have you thought of names yet?"

"We don't even know gender yet, why?" He kissed her cheek.

"Well... If you could pick any two girl names, or boy names... What would they be?" She hummed. 

"I don't know." He frowned, "did you have any?"

"A few... Do you like grace or Annabella? Maybe Dawn."

"We aren't naming our child after dish soap," he chuckled.

she sighed, "yeah you completely ruined that name."

"I do like Annabella though, it's pretty." He crinkled his nose, "grace isn't bad."

"What did you have in mind?"

"I didn't think much about it... It's nice to know a gender before we pick names."

"Well I was thinking... Maybe Rafael for a boy." She stretched her head back to see his face as he realized what she said.

"You want to name a boy after me?" He whispered.

"I want him to be like his daddy, what better way to start that then giving him your name."

He kissed her, "I love it... So we have a Rafael and Annabella. We need to more to be safe."

"Well I can just throw out names till one sticks but it's not as cute." She smiled, "come on, what would you like to call your kids."

"Maybe.... Well, there is one... Catalina." He blushed just a little.

Her heart raced and she kissed his chin, his head was to far up to kiss better, "your abuelita, I love that."

"I did think of one I liked, Eduardo."

"Eduardo?"

"Remember my stories growing up, Eddie?"

"You want to name a boy after your best friend?" She giggled "that's adorable."

The next few hours went quick before they returned home to repeat the next day. Each day they went to his office and waited, hoped for the jury to come back with a guilty verdict. Each night they would lay down, raf holding gray as she slept. He was afraid that if he let go something could happen to her.

 In the mornings, she would make him lay in bed for 15minutes with her in silence... It somehow felt comforting. Then he would get ready while she just laid there watching, a few jokes being passed back and forth before he made her get up and dressed. They would meet the squad in the hall or lobby and they would get them to the car and up the courthouse steps. For 4 days they made small talk, planned a wedding, talked about the babies... Anything that would distract them. Occasionally one would voice concern about it taking so long and they would just look at each other Hoping the jury did the right thing.


	27. The verdict/ a new beginning

This morning started different, instead of court they went to the doctor. They sat in the waiting room, waiting for the moment they get to go back and find out the gender.

"Cariño, are you excited to find out the gender today?" He hummed out.

"Of course... I want to know what names to use and what we still need to try for."

He chuckled, "are you nervous about the jury yet? You didn't sound to enthusiastic at that question."

"Yeah... We're on day five raf. What if they go not guilty."

"Then I will get then on something else."

She scuffed, "just the idea of them being out and able to try again... It's stupid, but it's concerning."

"They won't get the chance." Raf squeezed you close, "I promise... Have faith."

The nurse called them back and had everything prepped, the doctor came in a minute later. He started the ultrasound and took a few pictures. Smiling as the two watched and waited.

"Are you ready?"

They both nodded as gray took raf's hand. The doctor turned the screen and showed them the two forms.

"Congratulations it's a boy."

"A boy?" Raf asked as the doctor nodded.

"A boy and a girl."

Gray smiled brightly as raf gave her a kiss. The doctor left them to clean up and brought in a few prints to give them. The two in awe of the news.

Gray looked to raf, "so.... Annabella Catalina Barba and Rafael Eduardo Barba."

He kissed her as they both stared at the picture, "sounds perfect."

They left for his office, Rafael sat with gray beside him on his couch. The two were tucked into each other, like they had been for the past few days. They were talking about the babies as he rubbed her belly. 

A knock at the door drew their attention.

"Mr. Barba? The jury is back."

Raf helped gray up and they slowly walked out, "are you sure?"

Raf rolled his eyes and kissed Gray's cheek, "come on cariño, let's hear the verdict."

He held her hand the whole way to the court room, after Carmen said good luck. The whole way to the room, she shivered just a little. He put a arm around her and whispered reasuringly that everything would be fine. The squad was waiting and the court officers had the press pushed back, the way was cleared for them yet her feet kept getting heavier. 

* * *

**Grayson**

* * *

_**I want to run away.... After all this time, I want to run.**_ She squeezed raf's hand a little tight because he quickly ushered her in the courtroom. He walked with her to the front row before continuing to his table. He turned around in his chair and took her hand as everyone filed in.

"Gray, I got you. No matter what, I got you." 

She nodded as carisi took the spot beside her and Mick on the other, she was safe... She is safe. The judge entered and raf turned back around, she saw the small twitch of his hand  _ **He's fighting the urge to hold my hand... He's just as scared.**_

* * *

**Rafael**

* * *

_**come on, come on.... I can't lose this one.**_ the judge called for order and he sat down. The judge laid out the charges for each defendent, the called for the juries verdict. Raf stood along with Buchanan and the six men beside him, breath hitching as the foreman nodded and they started.

"On the charges presented, the jury finds him.... Guilty."

All the tension in his body dropped with each name and each guilty verdict. The last one read off before the judge sent them off. Raf smirking as he turned towards them being dragged fighting by the guards.  _ **i did it... I did it for you Grayson.**_

Before anything more could be said, he felt a set of arms hook around him as he smiled turning towards Grayson that was now hugging him from the other side of the railing. No words needed, in that moment everything seemed to freeze. 

"You did it," she whispered into his shoulder as he pulled her into the hug.

"We did it." He whispered back and smiled. 

Congratulations were tossed around as he grabbed his stuff and took his fiance's hand, the two walking out at the back of the group when Buchanan stopped them.  _ **dios mio, what does he want?**_

* * *

**Grayson**

* * *

"Barba wait," Buchanan stood in the empty room with only gray and raf... The squad by the door slowly turning around, "no hard feelings."

Rad sighed and gray shook her head, "no none. Well..."

Gray slapped Buchanan with her braced wrist hand, the thunderous sound errupted as his head whipped to the side.

"Now, there's no hard feelings." She smirked and started towards the door. 

Buchanan rubbed his cheek, a pretty red that could possibly bruise.

Rafael scuffed, "I think we're even now."

Grayson was at the door when she felt his hand snake to pick up hers. A gentle squeeze before they started their walk out, the squad pushing the press back as they finally made it outside. The press shouting out questions as the two stepped out. All the shouts blurring together, questions mixing as he kept a tight grip on her hand.  _ **Say something raf. Do your usual press bragging and strutting away... Be that cocky guy I love.**_

* * *

**Rafael**

* * *

_**Its now or never...**_ He stopped a few steps in, gray still at his side holding his hand. The only confidence booster he needs.

"All the people have to say is that, Justice has been served today. We think the jury for seeing this heinous crime for what it was." He looked at gray for a moment before smiling, "actually... I just want to go home with my beautiful fiance."

He snaked his arm around Gray's waist as they pushed through with some help, sitting in the backseat of the SUV as it pulled away. The two were finally done, a new beginning to their lives as they left the courthouse... The four barbas ready to start new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the story!

**Author's Note:**

> ***Translations***  
> Do you come here often, - ¿Vienes aqui a menudo?  
> couldn't. I've never seen you before. - no podía. Nunca te he visto antes.  
> Beautiful - hermosa  
> Como ya os, Hermoso - as I you, beautiful


End file.
